Followup to: Rationalist Storybooks: A Challenge
This was originally a comment in response to a challenge to create a nursery rhyme conveying rationality concepts, but, at the suggestion of Eliezer, I've made it into its own post.
Little Johny thought he was very bright,
But the schoolkids did not -- they would laugh when he came in sight.
He could count, sing, and guess the weather.
Then one day, Big Bill said "Real bright boys will grow a feather."
"Ach!" he cried, "Could it be true?"
"Then I'm not bright, which makes me blue."
So he went home, and searched all over.
And then found growth on his head, clear as a clover.
"It is true, feathers are sprouting!"
"It's proof that I'm bright!" So he stopped pouting.
He ran to show his mom, nearly tripping over some eggs,
When he saw on TV "Bright boys will grow long legs."
So he waited for weeks and weeks for to find proof,
Worried over his brightness, and staying quite aloof,
Until one day, feeling in a pinch,
He grabbed a tape measure, and found his legs had grown a whole inch!
So he leaped off to school, but a scientist walked by,
And Johny overheard him say, that real bright boys could fly.
"The hair, the legs, from these I know
Of my brightness. The flying thus follows, so..."
Little Johny plotted of his grand display,
Standing high on a wall, he would proudly say
"Behold, I have proof that I'm bright!"
And he would deftly leap off, and soar into flight.
So he climbed up the wall, and made his speech,
But there his plan stopped with a screech,
For he hit the ground hard with a smack,
Leaving his leg all bloody and black.
As the other children laughed, he tried to explain,
Of the things that he heard, and why he had taken it to his brain,
"They came from on high, from people who knew
I looked at myself, and saw they were true."
They laughed, "You're too eager to believe, you fool.
Your feathers are just hair, all boys grow long legs as a rule.
Yes, if all you heard were true, you'd fly, but you'll find out,
That if you do logic with garbage, then you'll get garbage out."
So Johny thought wrongly, and got his leg in a cast,
He had sought fame in the schoolyard, but now that's all past.
He's taken the lesson to heart, no longer believes all he hears.
So he doesn't believe them when they say he's not bright -- brightness doesn't come from peers.
"Someone can go through and fix the prosody."
Do you consider this a friendly amendment?
Little Johnny Bayesian thought he was very bright
But the other schoolkids mocked him every time he came in sight
He could count and sing and read; he could spell and guess the weather
Until one day, Big Bill told him real bright boys could grow a feather.
“Ach” he cried, his spirits sinking, “Could a thing like that be true
“That would mean I must be dumb, and being stupid makes me blue!”
He went home and massaged his scalp until it hurt all over
Till at last he felt a growth shoot out, just like a little clover
“It's true!” he cried with glee, “It's true, and I've got feathers sprouting”
His intelligence now certain, he grew calm and stopped his pouting
He ran to show his mother that he hadn't been all wrong
When he heard on television: “Real bright children's legs grow long.”
So he strained for days and weeks and months to try to get the proof
Worried sick about his brightness and remaining quite aloof
Till at last he took his measurement, and it had been a cinch
In the days he had been fretting he had grown his legs an inch!
So he skipped to school, but as he went a scientist passed by
And he muttered that his research showed that real bright boys could fly
And Johnny thought of what he'd learned, his feathers and his height
And in a flash, he grew convinced he had the gift of flight.
Little Johnny spent a while planning his display
He thought he'd stand upon a wall, and proudly he would say
Behold my feathers! See my legs! I've evidence I'm bright!
And dazzle all his friends by soaring off and taking flight.
He climbed the wall and smiled and he proudly gave his speech
He took a flying leap – and there his plan stopped with a screech
Instead of soaring throught the skies, he heard an awful SMACK
And looked up, dazed, to find his leg all bloody, blue, and black
His classmates started laughing, and he struggled to explain
The logic that implied he had a more than normal brain
His friends, his favorite TV show, the scientists - all knew
That he was smart, and if they said it, surely it was true?
They laughed and said “You're just too eager to believe, you fool
Your feathers are just hair, and boys grow taller as a rule
If what you heard was really true, you'd fly without a doubt
But putting garbage in your logic gets you garbage out.
So Johnny made a bad mistake and ended with a cast
He'd looked for schoolyard fame, but now those days are long gone past
He's learned his lesson: don't go trusting everything they say
You get brightness from clear thinking - and not any other way.
This has a better meter, but it's not quite fully consistent yet. I think the first line (with a few tiny modifications) has a good rhythm to it:
The trick is then to get all the other lines to follow the same beat.
I'll look into trying to get the whole thing converted to one beat, but I don't promise anything.