(after having read your replies to Elo's reply)

Another data point: I'm wondering about this too despite kind of the opposite interests: Relationship without procreation feels like something important missing. I already have four sons so procreation is kind of satisfied. After breaking up I'm feeling kind of freed but I'm also missing company - so why not date to form a new relationship? Sure. But wouldn't that mean that I'd 'exploit' a potential partner - her getting the worse end of the bargain given my children. I'd bet that corresponding calculations are deeply wired into our brains. I notice that I'd at least hesitate in the reverse case. So at the very least having common offspring seems like making even on that - and I'd be happy with that too.

But is that really that kind of 'bargain'? Could it be that there is such a thing as 'care orientation' (see cuddle orientation) and a mutually satisfactory relationship can be found? Maybe. But in any case finding a partner matching this complex (emotional and otherwise) setup is arguably expensive in terms of time and possibly emotions. After quite some excursions in that directions I myself decided to 'cut my losses' or at least change directions. And the direction currently means not actively pursuing relationships.

Stupid Questions July 2015

by Gondolinian 1 min read1st Jul 2015123 comments


This thread is for asking any questions that might seem obvious, tangential, silly or what-have-you. Don't be shy, everyone has holes in their knowledge, though the fewer and the smaller we can make them, the better.

Please be respectful of other people's admitting ignorance and don't mock them for it, as they're doing a noble thing.

To any future monthly posters of SQ threads, please remember to add the "stupid_questions" tag.