Originally posted here: http://bearlamp.com.au/people-who-lie-about-how-much-they-eat-are-jerks/
Weight loss journey is a long and complicated problem solving adventure. This is one small factor that adds to the confusion. You probably have that one friend. Appears to eat a whole bunch, and yet doesn't put on weight. If you ever had that conversation it goes something like,
"How are you so thin?"
"raah raah metabolism"
"raah raah I dont know why I don't put on weight"
"Take advantage of the habit"
Well I have had enough. You're wrong. You're lying and you probably don't even know it. It's not possible. (Within a reasonable scope of human variation) Calories and energy are a black box system. Calories in, work out, leftovers become weight gain, deficit is weight loss. If a human could eat significantly more calories for the same amount of work and not put on weight we would be prodding them in a lab for breaking the laws of physics on conservation of mass and conservation of energy.
So this is you, you say you gain weight no matter what you eat and that's scientifically impossible. Now what? You probably don't mean to break the laws of physics (and you probably don't actually break them). You genuinely absentmindedly don't notice when you scoff down whole plates of food and when you skip dinner because you didn't feel like it (and absentmindedly balance the calories automatically). It's all the same to you because you naturally do that.
This very likely is about habits, and natural habits that people have. If for example John has the habit of getting home and going to the fridge, making dinner because it's usually the evening. Wendy doesn't have the habit. She eats when she is hungry. Not having a set mealtime sometimes means that she gets tired-hungry and has a state of being too exhausted to decide what to eat and too hungry to do anything else that would help solve the problem. But for Wendy she doesn't get home and automatically cook dinner. (good things and bad things come from habits.)
Wendy and john go to a big lunch together. They both eat 150% of the calories they should be eating for that meal, and they don't mind - enjoying food is part of enjoying life. It was a fancy restaurant with good food. Later that evening when Wendy gets home she doesn't feel hungry and goes off to read a book or talk to friends on the internet. Eventually she has a light snack (of 10% of her "dinner" calories) and heads off to totalling 160% of the calories for the two meals. Effectively under-eating for the day. John on the other hand, has his habit of heading home and making dinner. Even after the big lunch, his automatic systems take over and he makes and ordinary dinner of 100% of his calories for that meal. John's total for that day is 250% for two meals or effectively half a meal extra for that day.
If W and J do this every week (assuming the rest of their diets are perfectly balanced), John will have an upwards trajectory and Wendy will have a downwards one. John might ask Wendy how she stays so skinny, and Wendy wouldn't know. After all they eat about the same amount when they are together.
No one understands this.
What can we do about it?
1. We can hire scientists to follow both J and W around for a week and write down every time they eat something. (this is impractical - maybe if we are in an isolated environment like a weekend retreat it would be easier to do this)
2. We can get them to self report via an app (but people are usually pretty bad at that)
3. We can try ask more specifically, "what do you eat in a day?", or "what have you eaten since this time yesterday?" and gather data points to try to build a picture of what a person eats.
4. We can search for people with similar habits around food to us and ask them how they stay healthy.
5. We can look for people with successful habits around food, ask them for advice and then figure out why that advice works, and how to make that advice work for us.
On the noticing level. You should notice that every single thing that you eat adds to your caloric intake. Every single piece of work you do adds to your burn. It's easier to eat another piece of chocolate (for 5 seconds) than run another 15minutes to burn that chocolate off. If something is not working towards your dieting success it's probably working against it.
Meta: this took one hour to write.
"I have a friend who..." isn't terribly compelling evidence. :)
From my recall, basal metabolic rates can vary significantly between otherwise very similar individuals. ~60% of BMR variances are determined by differences in lean muscle mass. But even when two individuals are the same age, gender, lean muscle %... they can still have BMR differences that would seem to contribute to weight gain in some individuals over time... even if their diet and exercise routine was identical to someone who maintained a stable weight.
I don't think it's as simple as OP is making it. But I also don't think it's as complicated as LW seems to make it.
As long as we're accepting anecdotal evidence, I've gained and lost in a ~40lb range (~160-200lb) over the last few years according to essentially a very predictable 'calories consumed minus calories burned' model. During some periods, I've kept copious spreadsheets of every calorie and every rep in the gym. It's been very predictable once I had some good data.
Again, for clarity's sake and so that I am not pestered on this point, I think there is more to the equation than just calorie arithmetic (and there are plenty of cases where people are predisposed to obesity no matter what they try and of course no one should be shamed for their body weight) ...but there is not nearly as much woo and mystery to losing weight as many on LW would try to make you think.
I think the main reason people end up desiring for weight loss to be a lot more than just calorie math is that while much of weight loss is simple, it's also super fucking hard. It's emotional. And being hungry sucks and makes your crabby. And making these changes will diminish your capacity to do other things for a while. Just like any other pursuit requires you to allocate resources, you can't expect to put effort into incorporating a brand new dieting strategy and exercise regiment while maintaining the exact same level of productivity and focus. There is an adjustment period. Then it gets easier.
Because it's super fucking hard and emotional, it makes sense to me that fad diets are as popular as they are. But maybe there isn't a hack? Maybe much of what needs to be done amounts to changing habits? Which is simple, but hard.
Changing habits is a hack. But one that seems promising if it can yield long term change and long term progress.