This probably means that I don't understand your motivations. I honestly have trouble empathizing with them, or even imagining what they would be like, even after reading your post and thinking about it some. My previous question was an attempt to probe in a direction that I thought might be a superstimulus for the desire you were talking about - a super strong power structure, masculine-oriented, extraordinary sense of belonging and teamwork, run by trustworthy people for the right reasons. But apparently it's not. So what's different here?