"Sexy" isn't signaling -- it's a characteristic that people (usually) try to signal, more or less successfully. "I'm sexy" basically means "You want me" : note the difference in subjects :-)

If a man succeeds in signaling a high sexuality to a women, the woman might still treat him as a creep. Especially if there no established trust, signal really high amounts of sexuality doesn't result in "You want me".

In my own interactions with professional dancers there are plenty of situations where the woman succeeds in signaling a high amount of sexyness. I however know that I"m dancing with a professional dancer who going to sent that signal to a lot of guys so she doesn't enter my mental category of potential mates.

I think people frequently go wrong when the confuse impression of characteristics with goals.

2amacfie6yWould it change for particular behavior, e.g. clothes, dancing/gestures, language?

Open thread, January 25- February 1

by NancyLebovitz 1 min read25th Jan 2014318 comments


If it's worth saying, but not worth its own post (even in Discussion), then it goes here.