All of Raphaëll's Comments + Replies

Ok I understand. So maybe I should switch for another word than produce? Just as plain as "people who have more estrogen than testosterone in their blood", or something of the likes?

Yes, I think that would match the intended meaning. 

Glad you enjoyed it, and it's good to meet another straight-edge here (although you don't seem to fully identify with the term, which is ok! I'm not sure I do either).

I heard of the strategy of masturbating before going on a date before, but I mostly heard it as an advice to be less nervous (somehow). Your advice seems sensible, although I'm not sure how effective it would be, in that it would release a ton of hormones that make you happy right before meeting someone, and could alter your vision of them. I really don't know haha, just saying there are probably a lot of unknowns unknowns here (and I'm not sure how much they're worth figuring out).

Agreed. And a trans man who doesn't take hormone would also be affected similarly. I think saying man/woman or male/female is a bit inaccurate in this context because of that (also because not everyone means the same thing when they say male/female; some refer to a biological reality, so having certain genitalia, and some give it the same meaning as man and woman, so a gender identity). I prefer to use a term that is both accurate and unambiguous (+ that encompasses the other realities I mentioned in my former comment, like intersex people and such), even if that means a lengthier sentence.

The problem is that it's not accurate here as while a trans man has the hormones in their blood they don't produce them (or at least not all of them).

I didn't know about these numbers for PCOS, that's good to know.

I'm note sure what you mean by specific intersex condition; afaik, intersex people can have all sorts of combinations of sex attributes (they can have a vagina and XY chromosomes for instance, or a vagina and internal testicles, and so on; one of those variables would be their level of hormones). Another specific reason someone with a vagina would produce predominantly testosterone is if they're a trans man on hormone replacement therapy.

What I mean by predominantly is that they would produce ... (read more)

Interesting point. I do think there are risks in avoiding physical intimacy altogether, for vastly different reasons. Now, trying to navigate when it's harmful to have physical intimacy and when it's not is the hard part!

Yes that's what it means. It's specifically addressed in my blogpost (based on 3 studies, referred in the footnotes):

"Which is where this hormone’s double-edged sword emerges. Excellent recent work has shown that oxytocin does indeed promote pro-social behavior, but crucially, only toward in-group members. In contrast, when dealing with out-group members or strangers, oxytocin’s effects are the opposite. In such settings, the hormone decreases trust, and enhances envy and gloating for the successes and failures, respectively, of the out-group member. Moreo... (read more)

My only question is, why privilege your “natural state” so much?

I don't; I value my sober state, and I already addressed why at the beginning of the article. I don't really see anything to add here. And anyway, having sex is one of the most natural things, so trying to moderate it wouldn't really fall under a naturalistic fallacy.

For example, why would I think my anger at my partner is more authentic than how I would feel if we had sex?

This was pretty much addressed in the blogpost already, with the 4 key points I extracted from the article on toxic... (read more)

Interesting point. The article I link to talks more specifically about how these hormones interact with oestrogen, hence why I thought it was more relevant than blood levels. Thanks for specifying that.

Otherwise, talking about producing predominantly oestrogen is a more accurate way to talk about what I'm referring to than saying male/female. I know it sounds odd to some, but I don't mind. The thing is that some people have a penis (so someone you might call a male) and produce predominantly oestrogen, and some people have a vagina (so someone you might ca... (read more)

Really? An article in Clinical Medicine and Research claims that [] most testosterone values in females with PCOS are ≤150 ng/dL, whereas (for comparison) the American Urological Association says that [] low testosterone in males should be diagnosed below 300 ng/dL. What specific intersex condition or specific other reason would result in people with a vagina producing predominantly testosterone? (Also, I'm not really sure what "predominantly" means in this context—as compared to what?)
My point is that transwomen who don't produce oestrogen but supplement it, have it in their blood. I would expect a trans women who takes hormones to be similarly affected as a cis woman.

Good thing I only date unusual people :P I mean, people "take a break" all the time, I don't see why this kind of break in particular would be more alarming.

Also, this was meant more as a rough example of a policy that could be taken from this knowledge than anything; you can use it any way you see fit (including doing nothing about it of course).

I wrote this blogpost but I did not post this article on Facebook myself, so I have no idea what were the motivations behind those decisions. I would be curious too see what they said!

Thanks, that was an interesting reply :)

I think your comment shows me I've failed to clearly communicate my intent with this post. So to me, not drinking and not doing drugs help me being my true self(which is a big topic on its own, and one I don't wish to explain here), but not having sex does not - I was mostly discussing this for the context of how I stumbled upon the idea that there might be benefits to not having sex, in that it's an idea frequently discussed within the straight-edge community. In the end, I do not believe having sex prevents you too much from being your true self (apart f... (read more)

Yeah, may be my sloppy reading but I definitely didn't realize that you're saying sex is not potentially harmful to true selfhood, I thought you're saying it is. I agree that the hormonal effects you're describing can be counterproductive to many other goals (or even to the goal of having sex in some cases) and worth being aware of. It's only the idea of them being somehow qualitatively different from other motivations that I was arguing against.   Can you elaborate on that? Is it supposed to mean that sex amplifies us vs them mentality?

Hey! So I think my post went over identity preservation and independence (although not explicitly); it did not mention the impacts on productivity and mental sharpness, and I'd be curious to hear what you have to say about it (although I have my intuitions about what can be said of both).

hummm, basically time-consuming, especially if/when it develops into an addiction + am less focused when horny

I agree with the statement that it's kind of arbitrary where you draw the line, and honestly it's up to anyone to determine where they do. I wouldn't advice everyone to refrain from drinking or doing drugs, I've just personally decided it was not something I'd like to experience. However, as much as I think this observation is fair, the rest of your comment makes me feel like you either didn't read my blog post to the end to write this the way you did, or completely distorted what I said - I see a lot of slippery slopes here. (But also, if anyone wanna com... (read more)

For sure, it's possible to be in love without physical contact, and I've personally experienced it. However, based on the article I shared about toxic relationships (which mostly focused on the effects of hormones) and my own sexual experiences, I'd say without being completely avoided, these hormones are produced in far less quantity without sex, and so their effects are mitigated.

I do agree that being slower to commit leads to avoid the failure you point out, and I personally have some rules as to how long I wait for some steps in a relationship (which are kind of arbitrary and open to changes). But I thing that's a generally pretty agreed-upon belief, and so I preferred to focus on impacts less talked about in this post.