All of Shmidley's Comments + Replies


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Welcome! The really valuable times are when you get to say those things to yourself - you're the only person you can force to listen :D

I'd like to add "noticing when you don't know something." When someone asks you a question, its surprisingly tempting to try to be helpful and offer them an answer even when you don't have the necessary knowledge to provide an accurate answer. It can be easy to infer what the truth might be and offer that as an answer, without explaining that you're just guessing and don't actually know. (Example: I recently purchased a new television and my co-worker asked me what sort of Parental Controls it offered. I immediately started providing him an answe... (read more)

I like your comment, but one problem is that telling people you don't know stuff projects low status. I think most people, including me, really know very little, but if you're honest about this all the time then this can contribute to persistent low status. (I tried the "don't care about status" thing for a while, but being near the bottom of the social totem pole just doesn't seem to work for me psychologically. So lately I've decided to optimize for status everywhere at least somewhat.)
Good one. I try to be very conservative with my language & preface everything I say with something that implies an amount of uncertainty. There might be cultural differences. In China people will give you directions on the street even if they have no idea. I have yet to have someone reply to a request for help with "I don't know". It seems like an Ego protection thing to me & it isn't helpful.