My mindset shifted from “Flirting to convince others to like me.” to “Flirting to discover who loves my relaxed self.”

Once this happened “fumbling” and “success” both became meaningless.

When my girlfriend and I were first flirting, I was super into her… and completely lacking in anxiety.

“How would it feel to date her if she doesn’t like me?” Bad! If she wasn’t charmed by my relaxed self, I didn’t want her.

No “please like me.” Just: “Are we in the timeline where this works? Let’s find out asap!”