In life, there are facts that can be used to describe events objectively, and then there are subjective interpretations of those events. It is the latter—the interpretations—that can either be a source of great joy, or bring forth never-ending misery. While the facts are immutable, you’re able to consciously choose how to interpret them. This revelation helps you stop feeling like a victim of circumstances that are outside of your control.
An Example
When I was 19 years old I injured my leg in an accident. At that time in my life, much of my identity was centered around being an athlete. So not only did the injury hurt physically, but the shock to my ego—that I can no longer play sports or have exercise be part of my life—caused me immense grief because I was suddenly living without much purpose. What I failed to see was that these were actually two separate events:
Fact → I got injured.
Interpretation → I feel worthless because I’ve lost a central component of my identity.
I couldn’t change the fact that I was hurt, but the interpretation, I later learned, was within my control. What saved me from my psychological pain was one day hearing Ex-Navy Seal Jocko Willink say the following: “Got injured? Good. You needed a break from training.” Upon first hearing this, I was skeptical. This is how 19 year old me worked through Jocko’s idea over time:
“Why would getting injured ever be good?? My body hurts and I’m disabled. This is stupid!”
[Time passes]
“Why would I need a break from training? Hmm, well, most of my free time before getting injured was spent pursuing athletic endeavors. With all this extra time I have…I guess it’s ultimately just more time to be spent in agony and be depressed. What a fun break.”
[Time passes]
“Well, I’m injured, I’m depressed, and I’m irritated at being physically and mentally inept. And, strangely, I’m getting bored of feeling sorry for myself and existing in this perpetual state of melancholy.”
[Time passes]
“I’m injured. I can’t change that fact. But I might as well do something with my spare time since athletics is off the table. Well, what am I able to do that’s not physical in nature? I could devote more time to my academic career, I could compose more music, I could pick a book to learn something, I could…”
[Years pass by and I do all the aforementioned non-physical things^]
“Wow, I’m glad I got injured. It gave me the opportunity to become more than just a one-dimensional jock. I suppose I did need a break from training.”
Questions to help reinterpret events
Through that years-long process, I learned there’s a difference between facts and the interpretation of facts. I also developed these two questions to help expedite the process of analyzing my interpretations of events currently bothering me:
Why did “X” bother you?
Why did you allow “X” to bother you?
These questions are an attempt to raise conscious awareness above the level of just compulsively reacting to life. Once you become aware of your reaction to an event, you can then choose to alter any unhelpful interpretations of it.
Why is this important?
It’s important because it means you are not your feelings: every reaction you have to life isn’t always accurate, nor is every reaction beneficial to you despite what kernel of truth lies in it. This skill—of consciously choosing how to interpret events—can be applied to both short-term narratives and to longer-term ones.
Short-Term
Acute boredom typically irritates people enough to go do something. A question you could ask yourself is: okay, feeling bored bothered you, but did you allow the boredom to bulldoze you into compulsively doing an activity like checking your phone, or did you exercise some conscious control to decide what you’ll do next? We’ve all been there where a pang of boredom sent us to our phones and we check the clock and somehow five hours has passed…
Long-Term
The ability to rewrite interpretations has aided me in a plethora of ways—most prominently with respect to new injuries I acquired over the years. Now when I get hurt, my reaction every time is: “Good. Time to go do something else now.” I chose to permanently upgrade my ability to interpret physical pain as an opportunity to pursue other activities.
Emotional Intelligence
Without realizing it, I was increasing my EQ—at least in the way that author Jonathan Haidt defines it in his book The Happiness Hypothesis:
Emotional intelligence: an ability to understand and regulate one’s own feelings and desires
There are facts and then there are interpretations. One of them is within your control (if you pay attention to it). Do you want the ability to respond to life flexibly, or would you prefer to remain a slave to your impulses and to the narratives you currently believe?
“In becoming aware of awareness there is a gradual ‘waking up’ of consciousness into the here and now along with the realization of how much of our daily lives are spent in a kind of semi-conscious trance, almost sleepwalking.” - Dr. Brant Cortright, author of The Neurogenesis Diet & Lifestyle
In life, there are facts that can be used to describe events objectively, and then there are subjective interpretations of those events. It is the latter—the interpretations—that can either be a source of great joy, or bring forth never-ending misery. While the facts are immutable, you’re able to consciously choose how to interpret them. This revelation helps you stop feeling like a victim of circumstances that are outside of your control.
An Example
When I was 19 years old I injured my leg in an accident. At that time in my life, much of my identity was centered around being an athlete. So not only did the injury hurt physically, but the shock to my ego—that I can no longer play sports or have exercise be part of my life—caused me immense grief because I was suddenly living without much purpose. What I failed to see was that these were actually two separate events:
I couldn’t change the fact that I was hurt, but the interpretation, I later learned, was within my control. What saved me from my psychological pain was one day hearing Ex-Navy Seal Jocko Willink say the following: “Got injured? Good. You needed a break from training.” Upon first hearing this, I was skeptical. This is how 19 year old me worked through Jocko’s idea over time:
“Why would getting injured ever be good?? My body hurts and I’m disabled. This is stupid!”
[Time passes]
“Why would I need a break from training? Hmm, well, most of my free time before getting injured was spent pursuing athletic endeavors. With all this extra time I have…I guess it’s ultimately just more time to be spent in agony and be depressed. What a fun break.”
[Time passes]
“Well, I’m injured, I’m depressed, and I’m irritated at being physically and mentally inept. And, strangely, I’m getting bored of feeling sorry for myself and existing in this perpetual state of melancholy.”
[Time passes]
“I’m injured. I can’t change that fact. But I might as well do something with my spare time since athletics is off the table. Well, what am I able to do that’s not physical in nature? I could devote more time to my academic career, I could compose more music, I could pick a book to learn something, I could…”
[Years pass by and I do all the aforementioned non-physical things^]
“Wow, I’m glad I got injured. It gave me the opportunity to become more than just a one-dimensional jock. I suppose I did need a break from training.”
Questions to help reinterpret events
Through that years-long process, I learned there’s a difference between facts and the interpretation of facts. I also developed these two questions to help expedite the process of analyzing my interpretations of events currently bothering me:
These questions are an attempt to raise conscious awareness above the level of just compulsively reacting to life. Once you become aware of your reaction to an event, you can then choose to alter any unhelpful interpretations of it.
Why is this important?
It’s important because it means you are not your feelings: every reaction you have to life isn’t always accurate, nor is every reaction beneficial to you despite what kernel of truth lies in it. This skill—of consciously choosing how to interpret events—can be applied to both short-term narratives and to longer-term ones.
Short-Term
Acute boredom typically irritates people enough to go do something. A question you could ask yourself is: okay, feeling bored bothered you, but did you allow the boredom to bulldoze you into compulsively doing an activity like checking your phone, or did you exercise some conscious control to decide what you’ll do next? We’ve all been there where a pang of boredom sent us to our phones and we check the clock and somehow five hours has passed…
The ability to rewrite interpretations has aided me in a plethora of ways—most prominently with respect to new injuries I acquired over the years. Now when I get hurt, my reaction every time is: “Good. Time to go do something else now.” I chose to permanently upgrade my ability to interpret physical pain as an opportunity to pursue other activities.
Emotional Intelligence
Without realizing it, I was increasing my EQ—at least in the way that author Jonathan Haidt defines it in his book The Happiness Hypothesis:
Emotional intelligence: an ability to understand and regulate one’s own feelings and desires
There are facts and then there are interpretations. One of them is within your control (if you pay attention to it). Do you want the ability to respond to life flexibly, or would you prefer to remain a slave to your impulses and to the narratives you currently believe?
“In becoming aware of awareness there is a gradual ‘waking up’ of consciousness into the here and now along with the realization of how much of our daily lives are spent in a kind of semi-conscious trance, almost sleepwalking.” - Dr. Brant Cortright, author of The Neurogenesis Diet & Lifestyle