I wrote a reflection on Game Theory and partner abuse. Curious about this community's thoughts.

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I confess: I’ve been getting sucked into the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial. Last week devolved into a blur of articles, Twitter threads, and subreddits, culminating in the testimony of the two protagonists themselves.

It got to the point where I was posting comments.

There’s a problem at the center of the case: when both sides accuse one another, how do we know who to believe?

Game Theory can be helpful here: it’s a field which uses math to model strategic interactions and make sense of human behavior. Once I started thinking about Game Theory, the Depp-Heard trial lost some of its obsessive pull, and I was able to return to my life.

Let’s look at Game Theory, and see if we can figure out how to react—as bystanders, fans, or friends—when two people make bilateral accusations of abuse (we’ll keep the math contained, I promise). By the end of this article, we'll come up with a Game Theory informed algorithm for analyzing cases like this, and I’ll apply it to the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard case.

Part 1: Definitions and Axioms

Definitions (for edification and clarity)

Abuse: A pattern of behavior involving control and manipulation, where one person treats another as a resource (for sex, emotional release, stimulation, housework, etc). Can include physical violence, intimidation, gaslighting, outbursts of anger, displays of jealousy, verbal attacks, and isolation.

Partner abuse: Abuse in the context of a romantic relationship (also called “intimate partner abuse,” but we’ll keep it simple).

Psychological abuse: For the purposes of this article, a catch-all for abuse which doesn’t involve violence.

Unilateral abuse: In the context of a relationship, a situation where only one partner is abusive to the other.

Bilateral abuse: In the context of a relationship, a situation where both partners are abusive to the other.

Abuser: One carrying out abuse.

Target: One on whom abuse is being carried out. I’ll use it interchangeably with “victim.”

Violence: Use of physical force on another person. As above, violence can be unilateral or bilateral (or multilateral, but that’s outside the scope of this article).

Toxic relationship: A relationship where one partner is spiraling to a lower level of consciousness/functioning, and pulling the other person down with them. As above, toxicity can be unilat...

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