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I've forwarded you the document. It's kinda personal so I'd prefer it not be posted publicly, but I'm mostly okay with it being shared with individuals who have reason to want to understand better.

Yes, saying I generated a model of him based on sparse data which was linked to me imploding so spectacularly is fair. However, I do think the reason I ended up doing that with him was related to his interactions with me and other people, though not because of spooky magical powers. Just an intense drive to break people out of something like the standard reality and a focus on learning how to do that as effectively as possible.

Which is not an entirely bad thing, it just happens that for some people it does end up tipping them over the edge into a bad place.

Edit: The below is only one mid sized part of a much larger and weirder story. While it was significant, there were a lot of other things also going very wrong with my life, and without those vulnerability factors I would likely have not run into major problems from just the parts described in this post. (also minor changes to the 3rd to last bullet point)

I think it probably makes sense to clarify some parts of the story relevant to the discussions here.

  • My psychosis was brought on by many factors, particularly extreme physical and mental stressors and exposure to various intense memes. I have written a document explaining this in more detail which I have shared with some people privately, and can share with others who were involved or have reason to be interested, but covering it in detail is beyond the scope of this post (which I'll mostly keep to the Vassar-related aspects).
  • At the time of my psychotic break I believed that someone from Vassar's group had spiked me with LSD, though I no longer believe this (I can't totally rule it out, but it does seem implausible, and my physical and mental health were poor enough that my quite vivid experiences are explainable as placebo/the start pf psychosis).
  • Vassar was central to my delusions, at the time of my arrest I had a notebook in which I had scrawled "Vassar is God" and "Vassar is the Devil" many times. This was partly due to a conversation I had had with him in which he said my "pattern must be erased from the world" in response to me defending EA, but was mostly due to indirect ripples of his influence flowing through someone who joined his group who I had much greater contact with.
  • This other person had been engaged in an intense psychological vortex with me in the months leading up to my psychotic break, and I had (in a greatly weakened state) been encouraged to form and engage with a model of her within my mind. She referred to part of our interaction as her "roleplaying an unfriendly AI", and this new part seemed extremely hostile to me at the time. Much of the reason I continued engaging was that I had hope of turning her to the side of light.
  • This person joined Vassar's group, and I tried to encourage her to question his clearly intense psychological maneuvering. She ended up telling me
    • "michael asked me if he should fix anna and make her see material reality.
      whether he should purge her green.
      i laughed happily at that
      marvelled at its glory"
  • This sent me into a spiral of fear for Anna (Salamon), whether to tell her or not, and a bunch of delusions linked to TDT-esque thinking, which ended up pushing me from merely highly unstable into actually-psychotic (though there was a continued descent through many levels of madness over the next ~36 hours before I reached the point where I would attempt suicide and assault the mental health worker I had requested).
  • One other topical note since we seem to be doing the expose lots of things to the light thing: I visited Leverage the same day as the above, and spoke to several people while fairly clearly delusional. They did encourage me to be careful with my mind and do only small psychological works, but in an ideal world they might have sent me back to my friends or noticed and flagged the paranoid delusion that my friends would mind control me and I needed to rent a hotel rather than going back to them, or even better suggested professional help. Edit: I am told that I was advised to go back home by them, but don't remember this (which definitely does not mean it didn't happen, I was in a bad state and my memory is patchy).
  • In the hotel that night I fell apart fairly spectacularly after I performed a mental motion which I interpreted as giving my model of Vassar something like root access to my brain while trying to re-stabilize myself.
  • I could tell much more about the story, there are many weird details, but I think this covers the most important parts relevant to the conversation here.

I don't think Vassar is to blame in the sense that he either intended or could reasonably have foreseen these specific consequences, but his style of going for extremely high impact psychological interventions does sometimes have negative ripples on the mental health of those in orbit. I hope he's learned this and is more careful now, in particular I hope he's aware that he can do harm as well as good.