I hope with this post to share some strategies that has worked for me on how to deal with the Madonna Whore Complex.

A lot of this post might seem like obvious things that everyone knows, but it is still worth stating out clearly.

I plan to write more posts detailing my understanding of the dating world, attraction between the genders, etc.

What is MWC?

The Madonna Whore Complex was coined by Sigmund Freud, he used it to classify men who were unable to feel sexual arousal towards their committed nurturing partner who they see as a saintly Madonna, pure, virgin, and unblemished.

In our current culture, there is a lot of stigma on male sexuality. We grow up seeing it as inherently predatory and it leaves us with a lot of anxiety. This anxiety breeds a sex negative prudish mindset, where men feel like they are profaning the object of their affection by also sensually desiring them.

Objectifying someone is considered to be a brutal undignified act. How can one reduce the mother of their kids, their wife to just an object?

So in some men this dampens their sexual attraction towards their partner in a secure committed relationship, further it might get redirected towards "whores"; the kind of women he might think are debased, hedonistic, and therefore worthy of being ravaged sexually.

Others would hold themselves to a high moral standard or their lust would not be strong enough, such that they turn almost asexual refusing to profane any women like that.

Moving forward

We can't go back to the past and avoid having that overprotective mother, or not consume all that media which failed to instil a positive model of masculine sexuality as it shamed aggressive aspects of male sexuality.

But to heal and fix this dichotomy I would share some paths that has helped.

Inaccurate axioms

To make the fundamental assumptions of your world model explicit takes effort and is one way to challenge it.

It really helps to internalize the truth that men and women are so much more similar than they are different. Culture punishes women for their sexuality and its a lie most cultures maintain to varying degrees.

It helps to know deeply that women are sexual creatures and they can reach heights of pleasure inaccessible to most men.

Women love sex as much as any horny man with the right guy, in the right context.

It is cruel to hold your partner to impossible standards, she is no saint, she is ...

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