I can relate to this.
For me, "pacing/tinkering around" is also not super pleasant, so I would mainly just return to work or somethinng at least a little more productive if there is no alternative digital distraction.
I agree with another comment that getting less addicted to digital content is the key here. I went cold turkey on all digital entertainment (I only have 1 cheat day per week usually), and am very happy with this decision.
In fact, after few weeks I crave the digital entertainment so much less that I don't need the cheat day anymore, I'm just not into it anymore.
His later work, "I am a strange loop", I think is more interesting for insights on consciousness.
The problem is that most hackerspaces are not this:
"warehouse filled with whatever equipment one could possibly need to make things and run experiments in a dozen different domains"
most hackerspaces that I've seen are fairly cramped spaces full of junk hardware. which is understandable: rent is very high and new equipment is very expensive.
but would be cool to have access to something like:
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=530540257789037
Thanks, it's an inspirtional pitch, I can relate.
And my observation from this kind of communities (hackerspace, engieering/hacking conference), is that a large fraction (I think majority?) of participants are much more interested in the tech itself rather than in applcations. There is also not that much drive for novelty and innovation.
I think that there should be space for exploration and learning, but to me, wizardry is about getting things done, solving actual practical problems.
For example, at hackaday.com, there are cool projects, but a large fraction of the (extremely talented) hackers are building yet another 8bit computer.
1I have found that when using Anki for words/language learning, I frequently can't remember the correct translation exactly, but can guess the translation as one of top-3 options. In fact, this works well for me -- even knowing vaguely what the word means is very useful.
does anyone else uses Anki with non-exact answers?
I have similar issues, severity varies over time.
If I am in a bad place, things that help best:
- taking care of mental health. I do CBT when i'm in worse shape, and take SSRIs. YMMV. both getting dianosed and treated are important. this also includes regular exercise and good sleep. what you have described might be (although does not have to be) related to depression, anxiety, attention disorders.
- setting a timer for a short time, can be as short as 1min, and doing one of the avoided tasks for just that 1 minute. it kind if "breaks the spell" for me
- journaling, helps to "debug" the problems, and in most cases leads to wring down plans / intervations / resolutuons
You can check popular psychology books like:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58014670-why-has-nobody-told-me-this-before
they do describe a lot of similar questions and techniques.
Also, I would recommend looking into CBT, just google "CBT workbook"
https://cogbtherapy.com/free-online-cbt-workbook
https://www.reddit.com/r/CBT/comments/1card3p/any_cbt_workbook_recommendations_that_are/
In your post this phrase soes sound strange "Today my state has changed a lot, it's as if I went from suicidal to immortal".
This can be just you writing style, but please keep in mind -- having sudden profound insights, and being suddenly very excited about some ideas can be a sign of hypomania/mania/delusions/grandiosity. Just be mindful if you are in control of your emotions, or it's other way around.