Aaron Boke
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Aaron Boke has not written any posts yet.
Aaron Boke has not written any posts yet.
I had been trying to use "positive self talk" for years, but still found that I was extremely harsh to myself.
For me, talk wasn't enough. Pairing the talk with physical acts of kindness dramatically improved my self-talk, efficacy, mental stability, and overall sense of well-being.
My methodology looks like this- whenever I do something for myself (even mundane daily tasks like making lunch) I consciously "give" myself the nice thing, saying something kind or reassuring while doing it (ie "I made this for you because I like you", "I put the warmer blanket on the bed, you deserve to be comfortable", "I got this for you because everyone deserves a little treat sometimes"). I have only been doing this a few months and the difference is a very noticeable.
This one is probably only relevant to people who didn't learn positive self-talk growing up, but it was a life-saver for me
I have some advice on the "how":
It is unfortunately common to learn self-injurious patterns. And if you do, it will not necessarily seem odd or extreme to you. Take a few minutes to seriously consider if you regularly do something that hurts or harms you- Do you do exercises that hurt? Do you deny yourself food when hungry? Do you force yourself to work past the point of exhaustion? Do you call yourself names?
How would you naturally feel about someone that did those things to you? Probably not great. If you're finding it hard to feel positively about yourself, you may need to stop hurting yourself, or at least commit to trying... (read more)