I haven't yet read your essay in toto but from scanning it I don't believe you covered the form of love that is central to Buddhism, "metta". It's sometimes translated as benevolence but I think "unconditional acceptance" might be closer. Typical human interactions are conditional--"I might like you if you agree with me," or "you don't look like the sort of person I want to interact with, so make it quick,"or "I love you, but I wish you didn't interrupt me," or "I love you my (son or daughter) but maybe it's time to get married and have babies," etc. We judge and prejudge everyone we interact with, and withhold acceptance of the reality of their being, or "who they are", wishing for something slightly or radically different. I'm no expert in Buddhist ethics, but my impression is that "metta" involves putting aside all such conditionality. "Unconditional acceptance" might be experienced as love by its object more than any of the other manifestations of behavior described as loving. Consider how rare, and refreshing, it is to be listened to with complete attention, which could be a working definition for acceptance.
I haven't yet read your essay in toto but from scanning it I don't believe you covered the form of love that is central to Buddhism, "metta". It's sometimes translated as benevolence but I think "unconditional acceptance" might be closer. Typical human interactions are conditional--"I might like you if you agree with me," or "you don't look like the sort of person I want to interact with, so make it quick,"or "I love you, but I wish you didn't interrupt me," or "I love you my (son or daughter) but maybe it's time to get married and have babies," etc. We judge and prejudge everyone we interact with, and withhold acceptance of the reality of their being, or "who they are", wishing for something slightly or radically different. I'm no expert in Buddhist ethics, but my impression is that "metta" involves putting aside all such conditionality. "Unconditional acceptance" might be experienced as love by its object more than any of the other manifestations of behavior described as loving. Consider how rare, and refreshing, it is to be listened to with complete attention, which could be a working definition for acceptance.