In memory of a person who was dear to me. I wish that life were as bright as this story of mine.
***
I slipped out tonight, sneaking through the dark with the drug in my hand…
“Here you go, you old geezer!”
With these words I quickly and decisively plunged the needle into my grandpa’s shoulder. Then I pushed the plunger, and the clear liquid began to flow into his veins… He didn’t wake up, because earlier I’d given him tea with an increased dose of sedative.
What made me do this? Well, the story is rather long, but actually very simple. I love life—I’ve always loved it, no matter what hardships came my way—and my grandpa… Well, I think he loved life too. But until recently there existed a terrible evil in the world, one that made people grow weaker and fall apart year after year. This evil turned his days into meaningless pain, and he had long since stopped hoping that it would ever change.
There is so much to do in our world. I can’t imagine how anyone can truly be bored. There are so many stunningly beautiful places on the planet that you have to see, so many incredibly interesting books worth reading, so many songs and so many people… But of course, when a simple trip to the bathroom turns into a test of willpower, you’re not exactly interested in what’s happening outside the window.
Future generations won’t even know the name of the disease that struck my grandfather, just as today hardly anyone knows what typhoid fever is. Aging will be gone forever—this was how it was supposed to be, and at long last it happened.
Ostap—my grampa—was always skeptical about life extension. Like most people, he insisted that it was natural and therefore necessary. When I objected that E. coli or malaria were also natural, he would roll his eyes and refuse to continue the discussion.
Ostap had plenty of arguments against a happy and long life, but I thought that, like everyone else, he would forget them when a real cure finally appeared. All those arguments in favor of old age and death usually had nothing to do with reality and came from personal reasons, one of which was disbelief that any of this was possible at all. It’s terrifying to hope when no one gives you guarantees. None of us wants to be disappointed.
But even when the vaccines started being given out everywhere, Grandpa had no intention of going to “Life Essential.”
Sometimes I would wake up at night and be unable to fall back asleep from sheer horror. I saw them burning Ostap in the crematorium. I saw his bones and skull burning in the infernal fire. Was this really what people had considered, just yesterday, to be something that gave life meaning?
So if Ostap wouldn’t go to the vaccine, the vaccine would come to him.
In the morning he came down from the upper floor, as usual, in the special lift, then slowly shuffled to the table, leaning on his cane.
“Morning,” Grandpa muttered, frowning, and it wasn’t clear whether he was wishing us a good morning or just complaining that he had woken up instead of falling asleep forever.
Ernie, our home robot, had already laid out a feast: pancakes with cheese, with chocolate and with apples, sandwiches with lab-grown (but incredibly tasty) sausage and cheese, coffee, tea, and water with lemon.
“Looks delicious!” Dad said and started piling everything onto his plate at once. Mom wasn’t nearly as interested in food, slowly chewing on some crispbread.
“Thank you, Ernie,” I said, as always.
Ostap remained silent, gesturing for the robot to put food on his plate and pour him some water. Then he began to chew very slowly, constantly washing each bite down and occasionally coughing.
“Pour more tea,” Ostap ordered the robot.
Ernie did as he was told, and unexpectedly the old man said:
“Thank you.”
Mom glanced at her father for a moment, but my dad didn’t notice anything unusual. And I thought: has it started working?
“When I finish eating, take me to the study,” Ostap said to Ernie. “I want to look through the album.”
“Will do. Enjoy your meal,” the robot replied.
In the last week, this was probably the third time Grandpa wanted to look through the album. I started to doubt whether he was actually looking at old photos or doing something irrational again, like sometimes before, when his mind was shrouded in the mist of delirium.
So later that day I peeked through the crack in the door. Ostap really was going through the photos. There he was with Grandma… Sitting on a bench and laughing. I slipped away, but something inside me began to change.
The next day the old man even smiled (he hadn’t done that in a long time), and two days later he noticed the first black hairs on his head.
“Well, how about that,” he said, and he almost seemed pleased.
A week later, one morning, Ostap called me from upstairs. I went up. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with a thoughtful expression, and several times he repeated:
“Some kind of devilry is going on…”
“What is it?” I asked, but had to wait a long time for an answer. He took a deep breath, shrugged, then stood up.
“My knees feel better!”
He started walking around the room. I laughed.
“Well, that’s good, right?”
Grandpa stopped and slowly nodded.
“But why, Tom?” he said, calling me by name. “It’s like I’m recovering from a flu that’s kept me in bed for… a very long time…” His gaze froze on one spot. “Let’s try to go downstairs. Without the lift!”
Of course, I knew exactly what was happening, but I was still amazed.
“Of course!” I answered, taking his arm. Together we went down the stairs, and as he sat down for breakfast, he began to laugh. I hadn’t seen him this happy in a long time.
“I’ve prepared a set of photos for you, as you requested,” Ernie told my grandfather. “Would you like to view them after you finish eating?”
Ostap’s expression suddenly changed. He became serious. More than just serious… He became grim.
“Yes, Ernie,” he answered, and after a short pause added, “Thank you, Ernie.”
For some reason I began to worry. As if something bad was approaching.
And unfortunately, I wasn’t wrong.
Over the next few days the changes in Grandpa’s appearance became obvious. He didn’t look in the mirror often, but my parents said he seemed to have grown ten years younger. They didn’t know what I had done either.
And then he figured it out.
“Was this you?” he asked sternly when he met me in the hallway. A third of his hair had already regained color, and the swelling in his face had almost disappeared.
“What did I do?”
“Don’t pull that nonsense with me! Say it straight, Tom, for God’s sake!” He grabbed my shirt. I hadn’t seen him this angry since I was a little kid.
“Yes, it was me. I gave you the vaccine.”
Ostap stared into me. I could feel his jaw clenching and how strong his hands had become. This ninety-year-old codger was quite capable of kicking my ass.
But he let go of my shirt and took a step back.
“You’re an idiot,” Ostap said and walked away.
I tried calling after him, but he didn’t turn around, and I decided it was better to leave it be.
On my way back to my room, I again passed by Grandpa’s study. On the screen a slideshow was playing on repeat. Restored old photographs: he and Grandma. Their wedding, their trip to Poltava region, his homeland, and how they grew old together… But they did not die together. Sadie left much earlier, when I was still a child.
Now I understood. I realized why all this time he hadn’t wanted to stop his aging, hadn’t wanted to refuse death.
My stomach twisted, and it felt like something slammed into my head. Had I… been wrong? I don’t know… I’m not sure. But I think… I needed to apologize to him as soon as possible.
I ran back, went up the stairs, but Grandpa wasn’t in his bedroom. He wasn’t in the living room either, or in any of the other rooms. I looked out the window and saw the streets of Jersey, but Ostap was nowhere to be seen.
My parents were upset as well. That didn’t surprise me. When I asked where Grandpa was, they said it was none of my business. Still, if they answered like that, it meant he was safe. And that was enough for me.
I went on doing what I had been doing before. Studying books, drawing, and walking a lot. I kept wondering whether I’d done the right thing, but I couldn’t find an answer.
Some time passed. I got a call about buying one of my paintings.
“I think Sea of Winds would wonderfully complement my collection,” said Nick, my new admirer.
“Would you like the virtual or the physical version?” I asked.
“The physical one.”
“All right. You can come to my office today at four, if that works for you.”
“How about five?”
“That works.”
“Great! See you then.”
Nick hung up.
At four fifty I was already waiting for him in the office with two empty glasses and an almost full bottle of brandy. He showed up a bit later than promised—at five fourteen.
Nick wore a strict, old-fashioned suit, his short black hair neatly smoothed down. It seemed like his white teeth reflected more light than was physically possible.
“I’m very glad to finally meet you,” he said, shaking my hand firmly.
“Likewise,” I replied. “Please, have a seat. Will you have some brandy?”
“Excellent idea,” he said and sat down.
Soon I returned with the glasses and settled on the little couch opposite him.
“Is it just me, or is the painting behind you damaged?” Nick asked. I put my glass down on the coffee table and turned to look at Eternity. But I didn’t notice anything and told Nick so.
“Sorry, my mistake.”
I noticed a drop of sweat on his forehead.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“Everything’s fine. I just have a very busy day today. Let’s have a drink.”
“With pleasure.”
We drank.
“So you wanted to take Sea of Winds?” I asked.
“No,” Nick answered shortly.
I was taken aback.
“Uh… Maybe I misunderstood. Which painting did you want to buy?”
“None, Tom,” Nick’s smile slowly widened, and I started to feel dizzy.
I reached with my right hand for the bracelet on my left wrist to call the police, but I didn’t make it. My limbs went limp, and everything slipped into darkness.
I really shouldn’t have put my own brandy on the table…
We were on a boat—I realized that even before I lifted my head.
“Your daub never appealed to me,” Nick said, rowing.
“Have we known each other long?” I asked, pulling myself up and looking at the horizon.
We were in the middle of a wide lake. There wasn’t a soul around, and the sun had just slipped below the horizon. He could easily hit me over the head and toss me overboard.
“Don’t worry, I’ll buy one of your paintings anyway,” Nick said. “Perhaps Eternity…”
I peered at his face. And only then did I realize how much it resembled someone I used to know…
“Ostap,” I finally understood. He didn't look quite the same as in the old photos... or maybe I just didn't look at them that often.
“Of course it’s me. Who else but family would support the misguided ventures of foolish youth?”
“Ostap!” I repeated, unable to believe my eyes. He laughed, and I lunged at him, hugging him.
“You’ll capsize the boat!” he said, but he didn’t stop laughing.
I let go of Ostap, but I couldn’t stop examining him. He had completely recovered, transformed into a twenty-year-old young man.
“I’ve taken my revenge on you,” Ostap said.
“That’s fair. I’m so happy to see you,” I said. “How do you like your new condition?”
He shrugged.
“Not bad.”
“Not bad?!” I echoed.
Ostap burst out laughing.
“All right, all right—amazing! Incredible. Like in a fairy tale. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Yes… Exactly that! So I did the right thing when I stuck you with that syringe after all?”
“I’m not going to praise you, Tom. But… I have to say, yes. I’m glad it happened.”
We sat in silence for a while.
“I don’t even know if I should apologize,” I said.
“Neither do I,” Grandpa replied. “But probably not. I’ll… try to explain. You probably don’t remember her…”
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
“I dreamt of seeing her again,” he went on, opening them. “Seeing my Sadie, your grandma. I hoped that when I died, all those stories about life after death would turn out to be true. And she’d be there—just as beautiful as she once was… She’d reach out her little hands to me, I’d take them and kiss her…”
Ostap fell silent. A tear rolled down his cheek.
“That’s why I didn’t want to grow younger again. I wanted to finally be done with all of this and be with her again. That’s all. When I realized what you’d done, that dream was destroyed.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t talk nonsense. Deep down we all know that heaven and hell are equally ridiculous ideas. It’s unbearably painful for people to accept that those they love are truly gone.”
“And you… accepted it?”
He smiled faintly.
“While I was away, I’ve been studying some scientific literature. You know, there was a time when people couldn’t even imagine that a single syringe could turn that bag of bones I was into a young and handsome guy.”
I smiled and wiped away a tear that had somehow escaped my eye.
“I’ve thought about this for a long time,” I said. “If science has spent hundreds of years proving it can do the impossible, why can’t it do it one more time?”
“Exactly, son,” Ostap replied. “A day will come when there’ll be no evil left in the world. When we bring back all those who didn’t live to see today—the era where death has been defeated. I’m sorry I didn’t understand this earlier.”
“I’m sorry you’ll have to wait so long.”
“I’ve got plenty of time,” he smiled again.
“More precisely, you have an unlimited amount of it!”
“Exactly. Which is why tomorrow we’re flying to Cairo.”
“Cairo?”
“I’m ninety years old and I still haven’t seen the pyramids!”
We both laughed.
“Parachute jumps are scheduled for Friday,” the old man added. Although that word didn’t really fit him anymore.
He looked like someone my age now, completely rid of wrinkles and spots, his hunched back straightened, his muscle strength restored… But most importantly, his brain had become young again—and happy again.
In memory of a person who was dear to me.
I wish that life were as bright as this story of mine.
***
I slipped out tonight, sneaking through the dark with the drug in my hand…
“Here you go, you old geezer!”
With these words I quickly and decisively plunged the needle into my grandpa’s shoulder. Then I pushed the plunger, and the clear liquid began to flow into his veins… He didn’t wake up, because earlier I’d given him tea with an increased dose of sedative.
What made me do this? Well, the story is rather long, but actually very simple. I love life—I’ve always loved it, no matter what hardships came my way—and my grandpa… Well, I think he loved life too. But until recently there existed a terrible evil in the world, one that made people grow weaker and fall apart year after year. This evil turned his days into meaningless pain, and he had long since stopped hoping that it would ever change.
There is so much to do in our world. I can’t imagine how anyone can truly be bored. There are so many stunningly beautiful places on the planet that you have to see, so many incredibly interesting books worth reading, so many songs and so many people… But of course, when a simple trip to the bathroom turns into a test of willpower, you’re not exactly interested in what’s happening outside the window.
Future generations won’t even know the name of the disease that struck my grandfather, just as today hardly anyone knows what typhoid fever is. Aging will be gone forever—this was how it was supposed to be, and at long last it happened.
Ostap—my grampa—was always skeptical about life extension. Like most people, he insisted that it was natural and therefore necessary. When I objected that E. coli or malaria were also natural, he would roll his eyes and refuse to continue the discussion.
Ostap had plenty of arguments against a happy and long life, but I thought that, like everyone else, he would forget them when a real cure finally appeared. All those arguments in favor of old age and death usually had nothing to do with reality and came from personal reasons, one of which was disbelief that any of this was possible at all. It’s terrifying to hope when no one gives you guarantees. None of us wants to be disappointed.
But even when the vaccines started being given out everywhere, Grandpa had no intention of going to “Life Essential.”
Sometimes I would wake up at night and be unable to fall back asleep from sheer horror. I saw them burning Ostap in the crematorium. I saw his bones and skull burning in the infernal fire. Was this really what people had considered, just yesterday, to be something that gave life meaning?
So if Ostap wouldn’t go to the vaccine, the vaccine would come to him.
In the morning he came down from the upper floor, as usual, in the special lift, then slowly shuffled to the table, leaning on his cane.
“Morning,” Grandpa muttered, frowning, and it wasn’t clear whether he was wishing us a good morning or just complaining that he had woken up instead of falling asleep forever.
Ernie, our home robot, had already laid out a feast: pancakes with cheese, with chocolate and with apples, sandwiches with lab-grown (but incredibly tasty) sausage and cheese, coffee, tea, and water with lemon.
“Looks delicious!” Dad said and started piling everything onto his plate at once. Mom wasn’t nearly as interested in food, slowly chewing on some crispbread.
“Thank you, Ernie,” I said, as always.
Ostap remained silent, gesturing for the robot to put food on his plate and pour him some water. Then he began to chew very slowly, constantly washing each bite down and occasionally coughing.
“Pour more tea,” Ostap ordered the robot.
Ernie did as he was told, and unexpectedly the old man said:
“Thank you.”
Mom glanced at her father for a moment, but my dad didn’t notice anything unusual. And I thought: has it started working?
“When I finish eating, take me to the study,” Ostap said to Ernie. “I want to look through the album.”
“Will do. Enjoy your meal,” the robot replied.
In the last week, this was probably the third time Grandpa wanted to look through the album. I started to doubt whether he was actually looking at old photos or doing something irrational again, like sometimes before, when his mind was shrouded in the mist of delirium.
So later that day I peeked through the crack in the door. Ostap really was going through the photos. There he was with Grandma… Sitting on a bench and laughing. I slipped away, but something inside me began to change.
The next day the old man even smiled (he hadn’t done that in a long time), and two days later he noticed the first black hairs on his head.
“Well, how about that,” he said, and he almost seemed pleased.
A week later, one morning, Ostap called me from upstairs. I went up. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with a thoughtful expression, and several times he repeated:
“Some kind of devilry is going on…”
“What is it?” I asked, but had to wait a long time for an answer. He took a deep breath, shrugged, then stood up.
“My knees feel better!”
He started walking around the room. I laughed.
“Well, that’s good, right?”
Grandpa stopped and slowly nodded.
“But why, Tom?” he said, calling me by name. “It’s like I’m recovering from a flu that’s kept me in bed for… a very long time…” His gaze froze on one spot. “Let’s try to go downstairs. Without the lift!”
Of course, I knew exactly what was happening, but I was still amazed.
“Of course!” I answered, taking his arm. Together we went down the stairs, and as he sat down for breakfast, he began to laugh. I hadn’t seen him this happy in a long time.
“I’ve prepared a set of photos for you, as you requested,” Ernie told my grandfather. “Would you like to view them after you finish eating?”
Ostap’s expression suddenly changed. He became serious. More than just serious… He became grim.
“Yes, Ernie,” he answered, and after a short pause added, “Thank you, Ernie.”
For some reason I began to worry. As if something bad was approaching.
And unfortunately, I wasn’t wrong.
Over the next few days the changes in Grandpa’s appearance became obvious. He didn’t look in the mirror often, but my parents said he seemed to have grown ten years younger. They didn’t know what I had done either.
And then he figured it out.
“Was this you?” he asked sternly when he met me in the hallway. A third of his hair had already regained color, and the swelling in his face had almost disappeared.
“What did I do?”
“Don’t pull that nonsense with me! Say it straight, Tom, for God’s sake!” He grabbed my shirt. I hadn’t seen him this angry since I was a little kid.
“Yes, it was me. I gave you the vaccine.”
Ostap stared into me. I could feel his jaw clenching and how strong his hands had become. This ninety-year-old codger was quite capable of kicking my ass.
But he let go of my shirt and took a step back.
“You’re an idiot,” Ostap said and walked away.
I tried calling after him, but he didn’t turn around, and I decided it was better to leave it be.
On my way back to my room, I again passed by Grandpa’s study. On the screen a slideshow was playing on repeat. Restored old photographs: he and Grandma. Their wedding, their trip to Poltava region, his homeland, and how they grew old together… But they did not die together. Sadie left much earlier, when I was still a child.
Now I understood. I realized why all this time he hadn’t wanted to stop his aging, hadn’t wanted to refuse death.
My stomach twisted, and it felt like something slammed into my head. Had I… been wrong? I don’t know… I’m not sure. But I think… I needed to apologize to him as soon as possible.
I ran back, went up the stairs, but Grandpa wasn’t in his bedroom. He wasn’t in the living room either, or in any of the other rooms. I looked out the window and saw the streets of Jersey, but Ostap was nowhere to be seen.
My parents were upset as well. That didn’t surprise me. When I asked where Grandpa was, they said it was none of my business. Still, if they answered like that, it meant he was safe. And that was enough for me.
I went on doing what I had been doing before. Studying books, drawing, and walking a lot. I kept wondering whether I’d done the right thing, but I couldn’t find an answer.
Some time passed. I got a call about buying one of my paintings.
“I think Sea of Winds would wonderfully complement my collection,” said Nick, my new admirer.
“Would you like the virtual or the physical version?” I asked.
“The physical one.”
“All right. You can come to my office today at four, if that works for you.”
“How about five?”
“That works.”
“Great! See you then.”
Nick hung up.
At four fifty I was already waiting for him in the office with two empty glasses and an almost full bottle of brandy. He showed up a bit later than promised—at five fourteen.
Nick wore a strict, old-fashioned suit, his short black hair neatly smoothed down. It seemed like his white teeth reflected more light than was physically possible.
“I’m very glad to finally meet you,” he said, shaking my hand firmly.
“Likewise,” I replied. “Please, have a seat. Will you have some brandy?”
“Excellent idea,” he said and sat down.
Soon I returned with the glasses and settled on the little couch opposite him.
“Is it just me, or is the painting behind you damaged?” Nick asked. I put my glass down on the coffee table and turned to look at Eternity. But I didn’t notice anything and told Nick so.
“Sorry, my mistake.”
I noticed a drop of sweat on his forehead.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“Everything’s fine. I just have a very busy day today. Let’s have a drink.”
“With pleasure.”
We drank.
“So you wanted to take Sea of Winds?” I asked.
“No,” Nick answered shortly.
I was taken aback.
“Uh… Maybe I misunderstood. Which painting did you want to buy?”
“None, Tom,” Nick’s smile slowly widened, and I started to feel dizzy.
I reached with my right hand for the bracelet on my left wrist to call the police, but I didn’t make it. My limbs went limp, and everything slipped into darkness.
I really shouldn’t have put my own brandy on the table…
We were on a boat—I realized that even before I lifted my head.
“Your daub never appealed to me,” Nick said, rowing.
“Have we known each other long?” I asked, pulling myself up and looking at the horizon.
We were in the middle of a wide lake. There wasn’t a soul around, and the sun had just slipped below the horizon. He could easily hit me over the head and toss me overboard.
“Don’t worry, I’ll buy one of your paintings anyway,” Nick said. “Perhaps Eternity…”
I peered at his face. And only then did I realize how much it resembled someone I used to know…
“Ostap,” I finally understood. He didn't look quite the same as in the old photos... or maybe I just didn't look at them that often.
“Of course it’s me. Who else but family would support the misguided ventures of foolish youth?”
“Ostap!” I repeated, unable to believe my eyes. He laughed, and I lunged at him, hugging him.
“You’ll capsize the boat!” he said, but he didn’t stop laughing.
I let go of Ostap, but I couldn’t stop examining him. He had completely recovered, transformed into a twenty-year-old young man.
“I’ve taken my revenge on you,” Ostap said.
“That’s fair. I’m so happy to see you,” I said. “How do you like your new condition?”
He shrugged.
“Not bad.”
“Not bad?!” I echoed.
Ostap burst out laughing.
“All right, all right—amazing! Incredible. Like in a fairy tale. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Yes… Exactly that! So I did the right thing when I stuck you with that syringe after all?”
“I’m not going to praise you, Tom. But… I have to say, yes. I’m glad it happened.”
We sat in silence for a while.
“I don’t even know if I should apologize,” I said.
“Neither do I,” Grandpa replied. “But probably not. I’ll… try to explain. You probably don’t remember her…”
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
“I dreamt of seeing her again,” he went on, opening them. “Seeing my Sadie, your grandma. I hoped that when I died, all those stories about life after death would turn out to be true. And she’d be there—just as beautiful as she once was… She’d reach out her little hands to me, I’d take them and kiss her…”
Ostap fell silent. A tear rolled down his cheek.
“That’s why I didn’t want to grow younger again. I wanted to finally be done with all of this and be with her again. That’s all. When I realized what you’d done, that dream was destroyed.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t talk nonsense. Deep down we all know that heaven and hell are equally ridiculous ideas. It’s unbearably painful for people to accept that those they love are truly gone.”
“And you… accepted it?”
He smiled faintly.
“While I was away, I’ve been studying some scientific literature. You know, there was a time when people couldn’t even imagine that a single syringe could turn that bag of bones I was into a young and handsome guy.”
I smiled and wiped away a tear that had somehow escaped my eye.
“I’ve thought about this for a long time,” I said. “If science has spent hundreds of years proving it can do the impossible, why can’t it do it one more time?”
“Exactly, son,” Ostap replied. “A day will come when there’ll be no evil left in the world. When we bring back all those who didn’t live to see today—the era where death has been defeated. I’m sorry I didn’t understand this earlier.”
“I’m sorry you’ll have to wait so long.”
“I’ve got plenty of time,” he smiled again.
“More precisely, you have an unlimited amount of it!”
“Exactly. Which is why tomorrow we’re flying to Cairo.”
“Cairo?”
“I’m ninety years old and I still haven’t seen the pyramids!”
We both laughed.
“Parachute jumps are scheduled for Friday,” the old man added. Although that word didn’t really fit him anymore.
He looked like someone my age now, completely rid of wrinkles and spots, his hunched back straightened, his muscle strength restored… But most importantly, his brain had become young again—and happy again.
We spent the evening watching the stars.