But you can be happy without sex, and sex is not a need. Of course sex is a good thing, and it's great, when there's more of it (consensual, obviously). But so can be said of video games, or action films, or hiking, or chess playing. People can be happy without them, and these are not needs, and so is true of sex.

The only problem I see with young male virgins in today's world is not lack of sex, but terrible self-esteem, depression and anxiety around the belief that they ought to have sex, but because there's something wrong either with them, or the world

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Just replacing words and saying “see what this reminds you now of!” doesn't work, because the words might not type-match. Otherwise you could replace some words in any atheist speech and say “now that looks like a religion!”

Moreover, you miss the point. It's not that sex is bad or non-important or should be discouraged or whatever.

  • Not having sex and feeling unhappy about it is strictly worse than not having sex and being ok with it.
  • Believing that men deserve sex (whatever that means), women owe men sex, it's women's duty to satisfy men's want for sex, i
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Rational approach to finding life partners

by c_edwards 1 min read16th Aug 2015128 comments


Speaking from personal experience, finding the right relationship can be HARD. I recently came across a rational take on finding relationship partners, much of which really resonated with my experiences:




(I'm still working my way through the Sequences, and lw has more than eight thousand articles with "relationship" in them. I'm not promising the linked articles include unique information)