Sorted by New

Wiki Contributions


Agreed. Take the unhappy pregnant parent raising the hypothetically future happy child - unfortunately I just couldn't decouple this. 

As an unhappy parent, my unhappiness gets transmitted to my children, and their unhappiness feeds back to me in a negative feedback loop. We're all unhappy. (And, indeed, the literature on postpartum depression and its resultant effects on children are quite clear on this as well - it's not just my personal experience.)

My rationalisation of this is that I'm a negative utilitarian and I'm not a longtermist - I don't think the future child's theoretical happiness can outweigh the the mother's present unhappiness. 

But in actuality I think it's probably a decoupling issue. 

We did the traditional marriage ceremony. Neither of us particularly cared nor paid attention to the exact wording of it. It's not legally binding, unlike the papers we signed, which were.

There are so many more practical reasons to not get divorced I can't imagine the exact wording matters to most people - especially given we were largely hearing it for the first time that day, only to promptly forget it.

I wonder if being too creative with your wedding could in theory lower the social pressure. The more it moves away from "traditional," the less others consider it a marriage, maybe. Or not!

I would go one step further and say that even if you enjoy babysitting, that doesn't mean parenting is for you. I babysat a lot as a teenager, and I can say it did not properly prepare me for having children.

Babysitting is a lot more fun because you're just there for a few hours and then you leave. Parenthood is far more demanding.

Parenting is basically a mixture of being a nanny, teacher, psychologist/social worker, and housekeeper all rolled into one. These are all things I'm especially bad at and would never take an actual job in. 

In retrospect (though it is too late now!) having kids was the wrong choice for me.