Living Luminously


"Can you keep this confidential? How do you know?"

It's not really workable to say "oh yeah, I can keep secrets, I keep so many secrets, like for example," so I tend to describe my surface area - things like "sometimes my literate three year old looks at my screen and asks me what a phrase means in front of the contents of my living room, I'm not good at not laughing at things I read if they're funny, I consider it morally wrong to lie and am not volunteering to do it anyway for you but am good at deflecting with the truth so cannot guarantee to conceal the existence of a secret but can decline to elaborate on it to inquisitors, if it seems to me like it legitimately concerns a third party I would try to ask you first but if it were time sensitive might make a judgment call and can take into account whatever you'd like to say now about that eventuality, given all this do you want to tell me?"

Organizing a Group Buy of Flour

I'd like to do something like this - it turns out we go through flour with breathtaking speed if I'm trying to personally keep up with household bread consumption through baking. But I can't find a distributor! I looked at the ones in my area listed on King Arthur Flour's website, and one doesn't have it (I think; they have no search function so I had to look manually through pages of random foods), and the other won't let me check without my having a restaurant account.

Should I floss?

I went from rarely flossing, to flossing every night, when I started trying to set an example for my eldest child. When my new baby was born, I neglected flossing for several weeks, since doing things with a new baby is hard. I promptly experienced unpleasant gum problems that I doubt are coincidental, and have put in more effort towards flossing on a daily basis.

The LessWrong 2018 Review

No, I mean, it redirects me to with the weird stuff stripped out, and shows me all posts, not sorted by karma and including the one that was posted eight hours ago and so on.

The LessWrong 2018 Review

The link to the 2018 posts sorted by karma is not working correctly for me; it redirects me to /allPosts for some reason.

Ideal Number of Parents

We've got multiple parents for ours - we sort of fell into the arrangement (one moved in with us when kiddo the first was a few weeks old, it gradually became obvious that if she ever left he was going to take that like a divorce and we should be thinking about how to keep her around, eventually she added her primary partner in the manner of a stepparent). But only I am primary caretaker (everybody else has a job), so while I rely on the others for advice and discuss things with them, what's sustainable and practical for me tends to trump - if I cannot be around some noise a toy makes, the toy does not get to have batteries, etc. We agree on the broad strokes of what considerations are important in general, and implementation details are just a thing the kids will learn vary between people - for example, there are a lot of things my son is only allowed to do if he can locate someone who is willing to supervise the activity and be responsible for any cleanup (today this was "eat shredded cheese", which usually winds up all over the floor, but a roommate who isn't even one of the parent collective was up for helping him with that this time).


I don't think "mediocrity" is the right word to apply to parenting that leaves you some slack and doesn't involve crazily striving for violin virtuosity in your children. There are lots of axes on which parents can vary. Being, say, really consistent with Faber&Mazlish style parenting skills even when you are sleep deprived, would be amazing parenting, and that's probably still worth getting better at for almost every parent on the margin, while leaving room for slack and not-being-insane-about-the-violin.

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