Hi Elo! I'm diagnosed with bipolar (type I), and I have to say that from my perspective, what you're describing sounds like a manic or hypomanic episode. It's quite common for them to be triggered on an intensive retreat or when engaging with new ideas or creative stimulation, both of which seem present. They're also more common in the spring, and yes, among highly intelligent people.
Warning signs:
- Things "suddenly starting to make sense" - very classic - Communication difficulties - sometimes people are not able to speak coherent words, or they speak too quickly with pressure of speech, or can't translate their knowledge into words. - Becoming incredibly social is almost always present in a manic episode, and it certainly is for me. - Developing extremely high confidence ("I obnoxiously think 'I'm that good' these days"). Note Waddington's comment on how you sound like a typical "I'm a prophet" enlightened person after a psychedelic trip - Paranoia - "moments of non-understanding point me to people either lying to me or trying to trick me" - Taking on many different new tasks or new activities (reading lots of books, joining strange dancing groups and various meditation events) - Suddenly and voraciously taking an interest in learning many new things - sudden spiritual and religious interests are common themes - Every day being a great or exciting day -- this is what it feels like to be manic for me, 100%. I had a lot of peaceful happy days too - mania doesn't mean every day is full of frenzic or active energy. - As the top commenter ChristianKI says, your post is a little confusing. The tenses do not always match, and overall the content doesn't seem to flesh out what the title suggests it will. The post seems to lack an awareness of how it will be perceived by others, which is probably a good chunk of why a lot of people aren't engaging very positively with it. This muted or diminished sense of how others perceive one's actions or words leads to some of the most trouble in mania and is probably one of the most difficult aspects to deal with ------
For the record, all this doesn't mean you haven't had true and useful insight or a lot of your progress isn't real (I wish people knew this more about manic episodes), but if you are having a manic episode, you should be much more careful about any conclusions you're drawing. I'm not a professional and nobody can diagnose you over a single post, but I know quite a few bipolar people and of course, I have my own experiences to draw upon. I have made perhaps two comments on the forum ever but your post so strongly suggested mania that I felt compelled to write this long comment.
I highly recommend you limit the number of people you're talking to and public posts you make, and don't make any long-term decisions or spend money on anything you wouldn't have pre-retreat until you've spoken to a trained medical professional. I've heard that EA therapist Ewelina Tur has been helpful and there's a more general EA therapy list here.
Feel free to pm me if you want to talk about this more!
PS: I don't necessarily endorse academic psychology's current conceptualization of "bipolar" - I am exploring a more useful isomorphism with a more spiritual framework, but for the moment, for my purpose here, I think you should strongly consider the possibility that you are having a manic episode using that clinical framework.
Hi Elo! I'm diagnosed with bipolar (type I), and I have to say that from my perspective, what you're describing sounds like a manic or hypomanic episode. It's quite common for them to be triggered on an intensive retreat or when engaging with new ideas or creative stimulation, both of which seem present. They're also more common in the spring, and yes, among highly intelligent people.
Warning signs:
- Things "suddenly starting to make sense" - very classic
- Communication difficulties - sometimes people are not able to speak coherent words, or they speak too quickly with pressure of speech, or can't translate their knowledge into words.
- Becoming incredibly social is almost always present in a manic episode, and it certainly is for me.
- Developing extremely high confidence ("I obnoxiously think 'I'm that good' these days"). Note Waddington's comment on how you sound like a typical "I'm a prophet" enlightened person after a psychedelic trip
- Paranoia - "moments of non-understanding point me to people either lying to me or trying to trick me"
- Taking on many different new tasks or new activities (reading lots of books, joining strange dancing groups and various meditation events)
- Suddenly and voraciously taking an interest in learning many new things - sudden spiritual and religious interests are common themes
- Every day being a great or exciting day -- this is what it feels like to be manic for me, 100%. I had a lot of peaceful happy days too - mania doesn't mean every day is full of frenzic or active energy.
- As the top commenter ChristianKI says, your post is a little confusing. The tenses do not always match, and overall the content doesn't seem to flesh out what the title suggests it will. The post seems to lack an awareness of how it will be perceived by others, which is probably a good chunk of why a lot of people aren't engaging very positively with it. This muted or diminished sense of how others perceive one's actions or words leads to some of the most trouble in mania and is probably one of the most difficult aspects to deal with
------
For the record, all this doesn't mean you haven't had true and useful insight or a lot of your progress isn't real (I wish people knew this more about manic episodes), but if you are having a manic episode, you should be much more careful about any conclusions you're drawing. I'm not a professional and nobody can diagnose you over a single post, but I know quite a few bipolar people and of course, I have my own experiences to draw upon. I have made perhaps two comments on the forum ever but your post so strongly suggested mania that I felt compelled to write this long comment.
I highly recommend you limit the number of people you're talking to and public posts you make, and don't make any long-term decisions or spend money on anything you wouldn't have pre-retreat until you've spoken to a trained medical professional. I've heard that EA therapist Ewelina Tur has been helpful and there's a more general EA therapy list here.
Feel free to pm me if you want to talk about this more!
PS: I don't necessarily endorse academic psychology's current conceptualization of "bipolar" - I am exploring a more useful isomorphism with a more spiritual framework, but for the moment, for my purpose here, I think you should strongly consider the possibility that you are having a manic episode using that clinical framework.