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Shoulder Advisors 101

Just a little bit of context here. I tend to be the kind of person who is generally able to cope DURING an traumatic event but then it may or may not take an emotional toll after the fact. That's context. 
Post- COVID American 6 month lock down (that's what it was for me), during 2021, I became majorly depressed and basically.... well, i guess the word would be ""broke". the best way my phsycologist and i can figure out how to explain it was that my personality fractured. not in terms of voices in my head exactly but i had a sort of ego death where i dissolved into a personal set of shoulder Advisors, demons, and other assorted folk who instead of talking to me were talking to each other. there was no me to talk to. but in more tangible terms my head couldnt cope with itself and my personality just became a set of shoulder personas.

The way i see this article, the shoulder advisor thing works because on a meta level you are in fact that smart. you can make better decisions/ notice more things/ do more things if you have a "trigger" that lets you bring that pattern into a higher level, more in control space. people are relatable in the sense that we relate to people pretty well and if we think about a certain person in conjunction with a certain trait we can capitalize that and emulate our "copy of them inside us.

But after my episode ive learnt that shoulder advisors dont have to be people. my personality didnt deconstruct into a linear set of voices; there were other things going on there as well. there was a lake, and a rock, and they participated in the "conversation" as much as any of the others. and i'm alot better now. but i still can use those voices when i need them. i can slip back into that space albeit with more control. people tell me that im very in touch with myself, almost too in touch with myself, and i think that's part of it.

apologies ahead of time if post is too personal; or too vague, or just oversharing and weird. it was good to write this out and i'd give it a coin flip that someone finds this helpful so here goes.