I guess one thing I want to clarify is that I do feel "sexually attracted" to people, just not in a way that makes me want to have PIV sex with them. I don't know how to carefully define "sexually attracted" here, but like: I think they're hot, I get a boner looking at them, I might think about them when masturbating.
Also, the fantasies I have when masturbating do not involve PIV sex, and I also don't feel a strong urge to act out my fantasies with other people. My ex and I did a bit of this, and it did feel good, but I'm mostly reasonably content to keep my fantasies private and just masturbate.
A demisexual person does not experience sexual attraction until they have formed a strong emotional connection with a prospective partner.
Hm no, this isn't me at all. My sense of whether I'm attracted to someone or not is a pretty immediate reaction to mostly just how they look physically.
So interestingly FWIW I also don't feel like I have a super strong desire to act out kinks with other people. I did a bit with my ex, which felt good, but generally I feel pretty satisfied keeping my kinks private and just masturbating.
Ah I was maybe a bit sloppy with this analogy. Like, I enjoy looking at paintings sometimes, and I enjoy looking at women I find attractive, but these experiences do not feel the same to me. Like, I'll get a boner looking a woman I find attractive.
The analogy to paintings was just to say that like, I enjoy the experience of looking at attractive women without necessarily feeling any kind of "call to action".