EKP

I appreciate that this particular issue is one you have to grapple with personally, but it is of a type that I come across nearly daily and I think it's probably a better use of our time to try to establish a better common understanding of the balance between what is said and what is meant than to advocate fully detailed policies for every social interaction.

Two examples from my life:

1. A doctor's office with a sign on the door saying "do not enter if you have a temperature". I can let this slide at the barber where I know it's an honest mistake, but at the d

Presumably someone for whom the "low fragrance" Beantown Stomp policy was insufficient would not show up in the Beantown Stomp registration data. They would have opted out of Beantown Stomp. There is no option on the survey for "this policy is insufficient for me and I will not be registering because of it" (and the registration form would be a weird place to capture non-registrants anyway).

I'll add one other thought: contra expects or even requires very close contact with everyone in the room. Experienced dancers can sometimes swap with their partners in real time to avoid certain moves that prolong contact, and in large halls folks can try to stay to lines that avoid folks they prefer to avoid, but barring agreed-upon deals where, say, two folks only dance in different lines after a breakup, you should expect to be touching everyone in the room for potentially multiple minutes a night and have their face within 1-2 feet of yours for multipl... (read more)

Just an anecdote: I've looked with envy at some of the Pinewoods week advertising and wondered if there is a way I could Tetris a Pinewoods week into my life for some future summer. Then this year I read a friend's post about the steps to replace every product in their routine with an unscented version in the lead-up to Pinewoods and all I could think was that I simply don't think I will be able to Tetris Pinewoods in for many summers into the future if this additional task is a requirement. I don't know what a reasonable estimate is of the burden. 5 hours... (read more)

I'm aware of at least one prominent community member (travels for many events a year, well known and well liked, etc.) who is sensitive to fragrances and takes many steps to make things as safe as practical. I don't think this is founder effect, exactly, but something related.

I've shared this post with several friends who are considering smart watches for their kids. I'm curious if your kids have hit the contact limit and if so, how you've dealt with that. 

The other thing I keep coming back to is: why doesn't it use T9? As someone who used to wear a 16-button Casio calculator watch daily and who was texting in the T9 era, that seems to me like an obvious improvement. 

We did this growing up. We brought sleeping bags to dances and set them up somewhere safe. Under the hall's piano was a frequent choice if the band had brought a keyboard. No one would step on us there. Bedtime was at the end of break, which was later than normal bedtime. Lots of good memories of falling asleep to contra music and contra feet. I don't know that we would have fallen asleep at our normal bedtimes in that environment. My kids will, I hope, do the same in a few years.

For the results of a different survey, 10 years ago, asking similar questions: https://reason.com/2014/08/20/helicopter-parenting-run-amok-most-ameri

Nearly half of respondents think it should be illegal for a 12 year old to play solo at a park. It's over 2/3 for a 9 year old. Those are tough numbers.

I'm glad this worked for you, but would your thought be to use unique signs for each kid if each had a multi-month signing phase?

In particular, I would not use this approach too extensively if your kid may want to be able to communicate with others who work with kids - teachers at daycare, speech pathologists, many nannies, other pediatric medical professionals etc. I do agree that straight ASL isn't quite right either. Our kid's speech pathologist uses a lot of signs but chooses for example to use "car" - a fairly easy sign - for all vehicles since bus, train, etc. are more abstract or complex. This approach has allowed our kid to communicate with a range of people over the relevant time period, not just our household.

I'm fairly surprised to read this, as I continue to be surprised by the number of my friends and acquaintances who have flown home with COVID despite having the means not to. Every flight I've taken since the pandemic started, I've taken the time to game plan what would happen if I or someone in my party were to test positive during the trip. Did you not do this? On the scale of the incomes you have posted on your blog previously, $2000 or so is not very much.

And from the JetBlue policy you linked to, I guess you bought Basic Blue fares?

It seems like you c... (read more)

I think you are maybe also not thinking of the degrees of privacy people value. 

For example, I used to have a job where it was valuable to be able to present to new professional acquaintances as politically neutral or at least politically agendaless. I have a very Google-able name. And Google really likes Facebook results. Therefore I kept anything publicly available, including on Facebook, fairly neutral - no tags in public contra pictures, for example. My bar was, if someone were to see they were going to meet with me, search my name, and read whate... (read more)

I can't find it right now, but I distinctly remember you posting about BIDA having a similar "kids excluded" policy, I think back when under-5s couldn't be vaccinated. At the time, you said it was no/low cost, and someone in the comments pointed out that the cost was the entire cost of attending the dance. I didn't see an explicit revision to your thinking posted. Can you articulate your revised cost-benefit for under 2s, who can't do basic things like cover a cough or wash their hands after touching their mouth?

Possibly scarier: the federal government and national lab system has not identical, but very similar barriers.

Not wanting your kid to be at minimal age to start school is a totally valid counterargument. Perhaps there's a middle ground - prioritizing the spring for example. 

Had anyone I'd been discussing this with brought up this counterargument I would have had a very different takeaway from the conversation. The point I was trying to make was that even people who are thinking some about the economics of pregnancy and parenthood don't seem to be thinking about it very comprehensively in my experience. 

That said, IIRC from your blogs, 2 of your 3 kids have June-ish birthdays, so I take it your concern about being in the youngest quarter of the year wasn't something important enough to you to actively avoid.

| as you start looking for a house

We've been keeping our eye on houses in our area for several years. If the right one showed up on the market we would likely try to buy. I know people who have spent their entire careers in this state. Maybe it's not the most typical approach, but I don't expect there will be a concentrated 6 month period of "looking for a house" for us.

For a more concrete example, we nearly lost our housing last year on very short notice (<1 month), and so had to secure a new rental. Most rentals require income to be a certain percenta... (read more)

I think means testing goes in a lot of different directions. You may qualify for housing assistance and your kid may qualify for more financial aid in college, and I don't know that either of those would be questioned. However, my understanding is that court-ordered child/spousal support works differently and is unlikely to be adjusted downward based on a decrease in income, especially in this scenario. 

On the other side of the coin, good luck buying a house.

I agree completely, and yet I am also very convinced that very few people enter parenthood having done rational economic calculations. 

As an example: 

(A) I've seen many folks TTC with an explicit intent to get the entire pregnancy + birth on one year's health insurance deductible, which I'd guess saves $7500 or so on a HDHP versus the worst case of meeting the full deductible in two consecutive years. This often results in a baby born in the fall. 

(B) A summer versus fall baby requires ~10 months less childcare before public school (or combi... (read more)

What is your current approach if a kid wants to call someone just to talk (say, your dad)? Do you do it for them on your phone? Do they do it on your phone? Is this something that they just don't have interest in doing?

I'm similarly interested in how you are teaching your kid phone skills. Has your kid ever picked up the phone? At what age do you anticipate they will start picking up a phone? 

We are considering getting a land line or a family device in a year or two, not sure which yet.

I'm curious if the ceiling fan is reversible, and if so if you tried it blowing up. That would give you something of a pressurized plenum approach and may more evenly mix the air. 

We also prioritized sleep pretty heavily. Just as a datapoint, here are some of the ways that has looked for us:

• Both parents get 4+ hour chunks of uninterrupted, "both ears closed" sleep from the time the baby comes home. Mom sets alarms to pump and baby gets bottles of breastmilk when Mom is on her sleep shifts. 
• As baby got older and more settled, taking dedicated shifts whenever we expect a more difficult night - e.g. switching at 2 AM. Parents sleep in different rooms, baby sleeps in room with on-shift parent, the first minute that parent is awake