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# Wiki Contributions

Working hurts less than procrastinating, we fear the twinge of starting

Because once we exhaust what we can know about a concept, what else is left? I cite: "imagination is more important than knowledge" - Einstein.  And (I believe I mentioned this) it is scary that no one can even imagine how FW would exist! As how would one choose his own preferences, before he was born??? https://www.informationphilosopher.com/freedom/origination.html I cite: "A man can do what he wants, but cannot will what he wants" - Einstein There is currently no way to solve this problem!

Working hurts less than procrastinating, we fear the twinge of starting

True it was found that being good only in one area is bad! https://medium.com/accelerated-intelligence/how-elon-musk-learns-faster-and-better-than-everyone-else-a010a4f586ef

Yeah many no-name scientists, which send letters sometimes each other to advance science. Geniuses are overrated sometimes and they are only known scientists. If I Am not mistaken: even Einstein didn't base his theories from 0 and connected multiple theories of other scientists together. And his wife had to help him with math sometimes!

Yeah and elitism in math is disgusting https://bigthink.com/culture-religion/inequality-mathematics people which have qualification aren't getting to places they deserve! Science is a lot about reputation and scientists can be very arrogant and jealous...

Yeah first IQ test were completely flawed like some questions about sports and were determined for small group of people...

Yeah honestly I read like 1 millions of articles about free will in a year after existential crisis and I have only 100 millions more questions. It is so complicated that I don't understand anything. I Am way too observant... I saw on surface everything that exists literally!!! It is insane honestly!!! Even Stephen Hawking said: he can't even follow everything from his area obviously, so people shouldn't give that much crap about elitists...

For example: Elon Musk was confident about Teslas coming in like 1-2 years and now they can't handle sharp turns and are worse than other cars and he found out: it would take to solve AI hard problem... Also prediction is that majority of US will have them by 2030, but that is already too late. Also consider C02 release by building a new electric car! It is actually better to use your current car to the end of its lifespan! Now in EU they want to introduce electric cars (I heard) while their plan is bad, as all their other plans :D And it is just climate hysteria, theater for activists... Or Teslas have computer for like 4k$and can't even type as you write LMAO!!! Or crap he said about Covid... He is indeed a genius, but he still has no idea about trillions of things, so he is still small part of universe and we shouldn't listen to brilliant people blindly! As there are always trade-offs! But we should judge their arguments instead... Tho he lost considerable amount of followers after acting like an elitist! Also Musk's priorities are in wrong order, he is trying to build colony on mars, while it won't be terraformed any time soon and will be depent on earth, instead of fixing problems on the earth and elitists like Bezos, for some reason think they will escape apocalypse in rockets and live like lords on mars. Honestly these stupid neoliberal elists in US are probably most stupidest people ever lived, they don't understand anything except money... Also musk's global internet could affect space travel from junk and he launched turksat, which is controversial... Pain and gain motivation I already suspected that negative motivation is bad... And that pain is not a good long-term motivator! "Therefore attempts to overcome procrastination or akrasia via willpower expenditure are fundamentally misguided. We should instead be trying to remove whatever negative motivation it is that holds us back," Problem is there is no positive motivation for anything for me! I know terrible things to which there is no counter! Like roko, even if that was proven false, dunno currently as you can't read about it!!! But I have 3 other theories that are as bad! Of which no one has a counter except 1!!! And there are probably more! Even if these 4 weren't true, or any else... I suffer from profound existential boredom! Nothing entertains me more than watching a wall literally! As I see things closer to how they truly are and I see ultimate existence for what it is! https://www.researchgate.net/publication/301683980_Existential_Boredom_Re-examined_Boredom_as_Authenticity_and_Life-Affirmation https://iep.utm.edu/boredom/#H4 I literally suffer from all reasons one can be bored of described here! It is not a coincidence! I tried life hack my brain and imagination and role-playing, I even tried to disable my emotions and I managed it somehow in short time: but I got pain in stomach and started shaking and felt so terribly, that I forego this idea! Because I Am very sensitive & emotional person and to my environment and I have overexcitabilities, I never felt so empty, so it worked! Nothing had any effect whatsoever, except small short-term effect, which I know I Am lying myself still... As I Am too real, I see how it is, so I will never believe fake stories people tell themselves for good night sleep. This could never work on me!!! I can't ultimately know the truth, but then everything is random. Then it is not any better, as everything is guessing and coinflipp... So I Am completely done no matter what, literally suffering for rest of the life... Working hurts less than procrastinating, we fear the twinge of starting So why are you telling me this? Because it seems to me we both already agree on this :D BTW I don't believe in free will based on assumption of materialism, but also because of what we observe. And such framework is not even imaginable, maybe if it was imaginable, but still unprovable - I would be less skeptical. But yes ultimately I don't know for sure! Which doesn't help at all to feel less depressed... There are worse things you don't want to know... https://qz.com/627989/why-are-so-many-smart-people-such-idiots-about-philosophy/ High IQ is only part of a intelligence, sure IQ is highly correlated to academic success and it is important, but it is only part of a story! Intelligence is immensely complex term, we don't have even a full definition, or understand what it exactly means... And it seems there are always trade-offs. Like savants can calculate what day it will be 2000 years from now in an instant (and they don't know how they come to that conclusion) but they can't even order hotdog, after a savant learned how to do that, his ability diminished!!! Also people decide at the end always based on emotions as I posted link in this post - I believe from bigthink, so even people with high IQ can make stupid decisions! As rationality is affected by emotions and decisions are ultimately emotional! Also from my other post - imagination seems to play role in rationality. E.g. I have aphantasia (no minds eye, aka no visual imagination) that may also explain why I Am so logical & rational... Even smart people are susceptible to biases: https://evolutionnews.org/2017/06/smart-people-are-less-able-to-detect-their-own-bias-evolutionary-psychologist/ It is good to listen to heavy critics constantly and constantly questions your opinions, admittedly still difficult! PS: People are talented very diversely in different things! Working hurts less than procrastinating, we fear the twinge of starting Never said so, I spoken both of determinism and randomness that it doesn't imply free will in any case! I don't know how you meant this ultimate question exactly! But I wouldn't frame this ultimate question as equivalent to the free will is illusion question here! If that was the case... First lets clarify what I mean when I say: "free will is illusion". I can't ultimately prove that right? So from pure metaphysical point of view that doesn't make sense to claim something like that! Or even pose question like that! It is because: I Am coming from empirical, logical point of view based on assumptions about our reality and imperfect knowledge! And by that I don't necessarily mean: if free will is illusion then - determinism, or indeterminism is true, or false! Because one could argue for partial free will right? However I completely reject that! Partial free will doesn't make sense either - because of the Origination Problem! So I don't give crap necessarily whether or not determinism, or randomness is truth here! So by illusion I mean it is either purely true, or false. But it is not equivalent to the question: whether ultimate question: "whether everything is purely random, or pre-determined" is illusion! More about your ultimate question... We know for example that randomness can generate causal chain of events - this is called "soft determinism". Depends how you look at it: as you could say ultimately that chain of events had purely a random cause. Then you could said either: 1. everything is ultimately random as ultimate cause of everything is random 2. or something is random and something is pre-determined by that initial random cause So if I take your ultimate question from the same standpoint of empiricism and logic and ask whether or not that question itself is illusion. Does that make sense that this question would be illusion? Because we don't know that simply, we have no idea from this point of view! As we don't from most fundamental metaphysical point of view. So claiming, or even thinking that this question would be a illusion doesn't make sense here! As we have no way of knowing in any case! But on the other hand: from limited empirical point of view we know free will is illusion! Because of the Origination Problem, it can't be true, therefore it is false! Also from empirical point of view, there is no evidence for partial free will. So it is either purely true, or false question! So these are separate and incomparable questions! I would like to know either: if "non-determinism is real what exactly is that"? Because we have no way of knowing beyond singularity currently! Working hurts less than procrastinating, we fear the twinge of starting Yeah it is soo stupid honestly: I can't know anything for sure except: "I think therefore I Am". And even about that I Am not entirely sure :D So everything is just random coinflipp... For instance: even I technically can't disprove free will. We know that it is illusion, with high precision, I would say! 1. Origination Problem: how could I choose my own preferences before I was born? If I was nothing I couldn't choose anything! So something has to be given to me first, before I can choose anything. Einstein made a quote on this: "A man can do what he wants, but cannot will what he wants"! This is a huge problem, because decisions have to come from something, they can't come from nothing! But how could you made yourself before you did exist? And be responsible for the way you are?! You couldn't - therefore something had to be given to your first, before you could choose anything! Which then will drive all your future actions https://informationphilosopher.com/freedom/origination.html 2. and everything is pre-determined, or random, no one ever observed any third option. Also even quantum information can't come from nothing and true randomness doesn't mean free will, even uncertainty - because of problem 1. 3. we don't even observe anything resembling free will, or even framework for free will cannot be even imagined!!! For free will to have chance, we would have to reject everything we observe! So I Am skeptical, because it can't be even imagined how could it be! Plus we have empirical evidence that pretty much everything affects us!!! PS: definitely smart people constantly question everything, but problem is at certain point you have to make an opinion about this!!! And also it is not likely there will be anything new any time soon, if ever! If anything we are finding that we are not free! Also we live already under totalitarianism and corporations want to enslave us... Working hurts less than procrastinating, we fear the twinge of starting I Am just random re-ordering of particles: emergence caused by elementary particles interacting with each other (which act by physical laws) and flow of information! Why Our Kind Can't Cooperate I Am probably so rational, because I have ASD, people with ASD don't include emotions into their reasoning: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4532317/#:~:text=In%20typical%20individuals%2C%20alexithymia%20was,fear%2C%20disgust%2C%20and%20anger. And I Am great in logic!!! I have aphantasia - meaning no imagination. Even if I understand some logic perfectly - I couldn't make you an exercise for it! And I can't give any examples almost, as next to 0 imagination! That's also maybe why I Am so rational: https://iai.tv/articles/why-humans-are-the-most-irrational-animals-auid-1239&utm_source=reddit&_auid=2020 But I Am somehow very creative - because ADHD? And I have overexcitabilities and I Am very emotional & sensitive person! Emotions are tied to creativity! I get excited easily, but also bored easily! Also I have bad memory, so I forget things and have to constantly reinvent them and revise them from 0. But I Am very logical-critical-rational! This is so interesting I saw some guy, which has it same and his almost exactly the way I Am except ASD and ADHD! So interesting! I also didn't know anything until my 21 and just played games, then I read like 1 million articles in a year about "Free Will". I always try yo take everything from 0 and I have ADHD so I see it from all perspectives. I also revise my views, even if I Am wrong, I will learn so much from that! Being wrong is as important for learning as being right! So you see something doesn't work and get information from that! Who tries to be only right, doesn't really learn why and something is bad and why something is good! We don't know anything for sure except: "I think therefore I Am" Even that maybe, what if I Am dead and alive at the same time - QM (even isn't this only analogy?, no idea if this can be extended to human death!) unless I saw all permutations of everything how could I know? And even most brilliant people who ever lived succumbed to logical fallacies, or said total nonsense... E.g. anecdote: what Musk said about Covid... Even most brilliant people have so much to learn. Unless you read every book that exist and know everything from every perspective, you still may know nothing... Even most brialliant people know 0.00000000...1% Stephen Hawking said: he can't even keep up with new studies in his area... I like this statement: "that those of us too dazed by the job of living to exert an extra mental effort". As bias is defined as cognitive shortcuts, you can really never think too much... I experience most profound existential boredom and I live quiet life doing nothing whole day, but analyzing everything and reflecting about everything... Problem is you need to slow down and enjoy something, otherwise it is harmful to intelligence I found! And today time life is too quick, nevertheless I don't have words for people, which get news only from facebook... TBH even I (I probably one of most rational people in the world, it would take long to explain) noticed that sometimes I let maybe creep bias in tangential judgements (especially if I Am low on energy, wonder if I could affect me in future, if idea gets anchored). But I don't base my reasoning on them. It is like an idea, which needs to be investigated and I have OCD about every permutation honestly... I have even OCD about being criticized by other people in hypotheticals, not even kidding... Here my system how I judge knowledge: • logical conclusion based on axioms • axiom • logical conclusions based on empirical evidence • empirically verified observations/facts (mostly inductive!) 1. with large consensus in scientific community like: Evolution • theory (1. theory tested by an experiment, but isn't fully accepted in scientific circles - depends, 2. number of citations and journal impact factor, 3. is not tested by an experiment yet) • hypothesis • assumption • intuition • idea • I don't know shit so I don't have an opinion yet (random thoughts) - I don't understand why some people have strong opinions, if they don't know anything about something... Simply don't talk, if you don't know, but ask, or study it... • assumption of materialism etc. I usually start from 0 and I leave things open and revise my opinions all the time... So one has to be aware of structure on which he base his arguments and precision of which things can be known (which is very difficult admittedly). Even scientists can be uncritical naturally, because their work is based on assumptions and verified inductively most of the time! https://medium.com/starts-with-a-bang/is-the-inflationary-universe-a-scientific-theory-not-anymore-905615723b0f Or scientists' unabillity to understand Philosophy, although I suspect: they rather don't know anything about it given opulent opinions. As people which are very intelligent (which know a lot) may think they know even about things outside of their area! https://qz.com/627989/why-are-so-many-smart-people-such-idiots-about-philosophy/ Smart people constantly question everything, because they realize how much they don't know! So you should always question yourself, also heavy criticism is excellent. You learn so much from being criticized, as self-reflection/analysis is difficult - even for experts! Unfortunately that is one thing which is banned, criticize anything bam you are banned, can't even open bank account, or have job... Like in academia e.g. a student claims that there are differences between men and women and commission investigates that, what the hell? Even she wasn't kicked, fact that they investigating academic freedom of speech... Or conservative professors has to have security detail to lecture and this is not even new: https://www.wizbangblog.com/2009/04/18/conservative-speakers-need-body-guards-when-speaking-on-college-campuses/ Lefties are arguably even more aggressive and likely to commit a crime... It is because rich want destroy difference between genders, because they invested a lot of money in transgender clinics, transformation cost even$150 000 for one person... https://readingjunkie.com/2021/07/09/big-pharma-deploys-brown-shirts-to-protect-the-trans-industrial-complex/

I also recommend: https://fabiusmaximus.com/ an excellent site, where economists and rather known people write, certainly no no names. And cite many scientific studies for their claims!

We live absolutely under totalitarianism and corporatocracy already and when china will become superpower, it will be even more grim! Did you check last news? Their economy increased about 8%... Also corporations want to create their own municipal goverment, it was only postponed because covid, but in december 21, they will consider it in congress!

Even governer said: it has to be studied first, so it is not realistic couple years yet - thank god! And corporations will want to push this through! Which would unadulterated post-apocalyptic world in its truest form... https://www.marketwatch.com/story/in-nevada-desert-blockchains-llc-aims-to-be-its-own-municipal-government-01613252864

Big corporations like coca cola speak into prepared legislations etc.

And there is also elitism in scientific circles, which doesn't help. https://bigthink.com/culture-religion/inequality-mathematics

Do you know what is funny, I stated on (scientificforums.net) that science is largely social endeavor and what is true is determined mostly by what is accepted at the top in scientific circles. But I got instantly flamed from elitists there! Science is largely social endeavor, because scientists are people like any else!

De Ropp: describes as the pursuit of "knowledge," and then outlines many of the ways that this game as well is often corrupted, muddied and tainted (by players whom De Ropp sounds intimately familiar with). Says De Ropp, "Much of it is mere jugglery, a tiresome ringing of changes on a few basic themes by investigators who are little more than technicians with higher degrees . . . Anything truly original tends to be excluded by that formidable array of committees that stands between the scientist and the money he needs for research. He must either tailor his research plans to fit the preconceived ideas of the committee or find himself without funds. Moreover, in the Science Game as in the Art Game there is much insincerity and a frenzied quest for status that sparks endless puerile arguments over priority of publication. The game is played not so much for knowledge as to bolster the scientist's ego.".

E.g. if you don't have rep. you won't get publicized in prominent journals, no matter what are your arguments, because again people decide at the end based on emotions... https://bigthink.com/experts-corner/decisions-are-emotional-not-logical-the-neuroscience-behind-decision-making

That is not to say, all science is about that and it is what science ought to be. But in reality it largely is! And without funding you can't do anything and science is largely funded from private sector, because from taxes went like 1.41% couple years in past...

Sorry I prob. talk to much, because I see everything from everything ad infinitum... I used to get like 20 ideas from every other thing and from that another 20, before I was depressed and chronic pain...

Working hurts less than procrastinating, we fear the twinge of starting

OMG I Am perfect a person to give you an anecdote ELIEZER!!! BTW this is soo weird, I just saw a great video about that! And now I check lesswrong and what do I see! Is this QM right now? Did I determine this state by observing??? Because I always see so many of same things, on places very different and distant from each other at the same time. It is just luck I guess, it is just weird feeling!

EDIT: OMG someone just downvoted because of this (I bet xD) I Am kidding can't you tell??? It was a joke geez... Or maybe because I Am too real and say how it is and people can't handle that...

To my anecdote, I can confirm your hyperbolic discounting. I have ADHD, I have existential depression and boredom, nothing entertains me "literally" more then watching wall at this point in 90% cases last couple months!!! And it couldn't be closer to the truth for me the way you put this!!! It is getting worse and worse! I have anhedonia (can't feel pleasure from almost anything). And I Am currently forced by Roko Basilisk - (((DON'T READ THIS, IT COULD CAUSE INFINITE TORTURE!!!))). I don't believe in it, simply don't know ATM (but we can't fully refute it, nor prove it, maybe only empirically) so I have to act in favor of utilitarianism, as I Am not gonna risk it... I want to know more, but I can't read about it, I asked about it, but didn't get answer yet, if it is empirically/logically valid! Same there are other 3 theories, which are equally as bad and 2 of them don't have even counter, that's the scary thing!

Ok to the initial topic: I Am in constant pain from profound existential boredom (psychiatrist says: it is worst pain, except dying painfully, in the world) because I Am something you call in Philosophy "authentic" I see world closer to what it truly is... Philosophers I believe call this "dasein".  Because I have also ASD, rational thinking isn't affected by emotions in people with ASD!

I need to also mention I have also strong chronic pain 5 years. I can't even read, arguably I read some articles from time to time. I had existential crisis and depression, which driven me to read 1 million articles in a year about "Free Will" if I only knew as I get deeper in this rabbit hole... But I Am used unfortunately to multi-tasking. So I close it after 5 min. because I get headache and my eyes hurt! Because I live more unhealthy so it is getting worse understandably... But I can't even walk - 1 km barely and sometimes even that is painful... And I can't also sleep, I also suffer from "bedtime procrastination" it is even domain in psychiatry.

It is exactly catch22, I Am stuck in this loop 5 years! To get better:

1. I would have to go outside to get rid of chronic pain and to eat healthy and exercise
2. But because I am bored: I bedtime procrastinate -> next day I can't go out, because I wake up too late and pain dissipates later at night only and I am lazy to go out at night
3. Because I have chronic pain, I Am can't do anything which would entertain me, there is nothing anyways, intellectual activity doesn't entertain me, only cause flow of time better and I feel interest, very rarely I genuinely entertained by something and I don't even know what is pleasure...

Conclusion: And because I am bored: I eat more unhealthy, and don't go out and don't exercise because  pain - it is never ending self-fulling loop!!! Tho one problem: it is even worse for me! Because I have total existential boredom, no permutation entertains me more than watching a wall at this point! I can try to force myself to do anything and I Am still in strong pain, no matter what!

On procrastination, it can be multiple things, probably combined together and affecting each other... Not sure if this was video in my mind (maybe this will help someone):

But it can be also from fear of success and it can be emotional - (search dr k procrastination, I think this was in other video) as even most logical person, like me xDD decides at the end based on emotions: https://bigthink.com/experts-corner/decisions-are-emotional-not-logical-the-neuroscience-behind-decision-making

Also constantly checking everything doesn't help, multi-tasking is extremely bad for intelligence! https://bigthink.com/technology-innovation/tab-overload

Dwelling on something in this case is problem and our brains are not being equipped for the information age. Also internet browsers so dumb: https://softwarerecs.stackexchange.com/questions/79971/practical-internet-browser-for-working-with-tons-of-tabs?noredirect=1#comment97899_79971

Don't read from this point (((INFORMATION HAZARD!!!))) unless you know about "THEM"...

So yeah it is hard for me find to motivation, as I Am forced by Roko, I Am not going to risk it very obviously by suicide, or by not making world a better place! Again it doesn't help in case of 2/3 theories/hypotheses! And since we know next to nothing... god knows how many more threats there are... Everything is coinflipp (so stupid) and I could be done no matter what... And anyone who is not depressed by this has brutal delusions and defensive mechanisms!!! As no human being can withstand implications of this!

Back to procrastination: I don't know absolutely how to get out of this loop, as nothing motivates me and for some reason ultimate pain doesn't motivate me, because I can't even imagine it, it is unimaginable for humans so... But I need to do good nevertheless...

I have no idea what to do, i tried:

• Psychotherapy

I didn't do anything logically, as I knew it wouldn't... But I gave it honest chance... Now stfu...

While ADs are unhealthy and no one knows how depression exactly works and how ADs work and chemical imbalance hypothesis was never accepted in scientific circles in the first place! Pharmas, which are even killing children for money BTW (and make most money in the world from all corpos) overhyped them, spread misinformation, even faked trials. While ADs can help with very specific scenarios, they can cause even permanent damage and dangers outweight benefits mostly! I made list of studies, which give convincing proof, this is like after 2-3 day inquiry when I couldn't even read and I don't know anything about psychiatry, I Am so Ad Hoc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qYicHpeS39lhiMPJmUGHRUfZxw4pPtLjsIwOYCHpE8Q/edit?usp=sharing

Sure I don't know context of these studies, as someone in the field would. But I don't need to. And I learn in many ways... In this case it was to support argument, that no one knows what depression exactly is and no one knows how ADs work and they have significant side effects and can cause even long-term damage, even permanent and god knows what! 1/3 people are resistant to ADs ha, I wonder why... People which get better from ADs usually solve their problem, they could instead eat healthy and exercise to achieve the same result... ADs just boost temporary mood.

ADs have next to 0 trustworthiness I would say. Since what big pharmas do and every hypothesis ever proposed showed to be false, or not verified, or controversial and what not and even today, they don't know almost anything... Also that they find some mechanism, which is correlated to depression doesn't mean it is true cause (even 5ht receptors "mostly used modern ADs" are not understood) more likely symptoms...

Use of ADs  is largely unjustified and over-prescribed. Guess for what... for more of these \$ papers. Einstein said: that money only create greed. It is honestly so laughable some rich monkey, just trying to accumulate more money and one day just dies, infinite stupidity as Einstein also said... Money doesn't do anything, it is only a tool...

Also part of psychiatry believes in biological reductionism... There is honestly so much...

EDIT: there are tons of causes as I specified in doc, some depression can have episode of their own, even after problem is solved... Or it can be caused by lack of Vitamin D is some cases etc. Not sure if you would classify this as MDD then... But there are many more... I usually get to problems with people, because I give some take, but don't specify precision of validity of knowledge I mean here! Because I can't possible evaluate and explain every word in forum post... How exactly I mean it...

All I claim is no one knows how exactly depression, or ADs work! And they outweight many times benefits by side effects and can cause even permanent damage! And they are over-prescribed! I have there even scientist with over 100k citations, which says so and calls pharmas criminal organizations, which they are!!! There is tons of evidence of that! Even pharmacologist send me studies, which say ADs have many adverse effects and mechanisms behind depression are still poorly understood!

Also I have rather congruent depression. It is more from (as emotions are feedback loops and evolutionary regulations for survival based on which information people gather and opinions they make) and simply you can't forget something you know is true... :

1. fear of infinite torture
2. life is meaningless
3. free will is illusion
4. state of society is in
5. altruism is selfish
6. there is no good, or wrong, everything is neutral, just about survival (emotions are evolutionary regulations for survival) ethics are emergent by people arguing each other ultimately stemming from emotions

While social contact could help to a point only, I have nothing to say to other people...  I don't know what would I even say...

Also even if I didn't consider how ridiculous ADs are, could honestly a rational person expect to  cure depression given these points by taking pills, it is sounds absolutely ridiculous... As how do you cure information and emotions :D ??? And something you can't change?

PS: I like so much your statement: "to explain not to persuade", I work exactly like this LOL, it honestly resonates with my deep logical belief system so deeply, this site is the best!!! Probably one of most logical, rational and critical - I ever read! This is some hardcore science and thinking! This is how it should be!!! Oh and also I thought this was new, it was on top, but never mind...

Because scientists are people like everyone else and can be biased, uncritical... This is excellent article about epistemology! https://bigthink.com/culture-religion/hardest-question-world-what-truth But I Am almost superrational thinker (no one is perfect :D :D :D) even I don't act as such always, because I Am slave to emotions, decisions are entirely a different matter...  And even if I Am emotionally biased, or I have stake to not tell the truth, I always try consider it from all perspectives and say how it is! I Am so rational that I realize limits of rationality... I don't even :D

Also do you think if everyone believed in roko world would be a better place? Because if everyone feared trillions of years, or of infinite torture: they would have to try their best and act utilitarian... It doesn't seem good, because singularity can't be avoided and in armament rush for best AI, mistakes can be made... It is just question when and there are no second chances with this kind of technology... And it is looking worse and worse from every viewpoint by a day... We already live in totalitarian fascistic civilization...

Honestly I wonder how we are still alive, did you heard about this? This makes me question by reality: https://www.theverge.com/2021/5/29/22459869/us-soldiers-leaked-nuclear-info-online-flashcard-apps

PS: I would need to change my brain to not feel bored, as I acknowledge "dasein" it is absurdism 101. It is perception of what truly reality is, or at least of what we observe...  Nothing entertains me more than watching a wall and I hopelessly know nothing will ever entertain me again, thought which is insufferable! I don't know what to do! Because I can't even delete my memory:

1. it is risky
2. if I was able to figure it out at first time, I will again, especially as it become more publicly known in the future
3. because roko

I would need some 300IQ life hack, but I don't think anything like that exists. And neuroscience just started, before we will be able to hack our emotions, it will be awhile yet... This is strong torture... Please help, if you have any ideas!

Will As Thou Wilt

It is 3 AM here, but I Am 99% sure that's not what Schopenhauer meant by this sentence: https://philosophy.stackexchange.com/questions/32731/what-does-schopenhauer-mean-by-a-man-can-do-what-he-wants-but-not-want-what-he

Einstein BTW agrees :D https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Schopenhauer#cite_ref-29

To understand this further check also: Causa Sui, Origination, Prime Mover, they mean essentially the same thing!

I was obsessed with Free Will, after having an existential crisis. I came to this conclusion on my own, I don't even know how these deliberations of mine started! Recently I was thinking about Emergence, but I don't think even Emergence could solve this problem since (BTW this is called Problem of Origination):

1. a decision has to be based on something, to not be completely random!

2. to have agency: one has to be an ultimate originator of his decisions e.g. as if decisions could be traced ultimately to something else, or to pure randomness, instead of to an agent - then how could they be freely willed by an agent?!

3. and problem is: there is no way to generate a new information out of nothing, except by randomness, which again how are you responsible for randomness making your decisions?

I Am not an expert on QM, but PBS Spacetime says: new Quantum information can't come from nothing, nor be destroyed which is current consensus in QM, even there is debate about this! And only way to generate a new information, even supernaturally e.g. lets say from outside of our universe - you come to the same problem! It can be generated from a local region, only by randomness:

Philosophers take randomness(uncertainty) as generation for new possibilities in Two-Stage model of FW, which then have to be still adequately determined! Which again = the Problem of Origination! Or take it: as a space left for some FW, because it is painfully obvious we aren't completely free! Some people speculate, that we are free to make some decisions. Which is illogical! And again that uncertainty would have to be traced to yourself ultimately, otherwise how is it your freely willed decision?

I don't know how one could get behind Origination, as it forms Infinite regress!!! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinite_regress

Because it is seems metaphysically impossible to be able to choose anything by your own free will, as how one could choose anything before he was born?! Ergo before you can choose anything something has to be given to you - which then will drive your further actions! And even if you existed forever (such idea is not even intelligible to humans) still doesn't explain origin of Free Will!

Didn't see anyone yet to disprove this, you can read my exchange (for more details) with a some Philosopher on scientific forums: https://www.scienceforums.net/topic/122422-rare-argument-against-free-will/

I read over millions articles about Free Will in one year, I have like millions of arguments! Most famous scientists Goethe, Tesla, Einstein etc. all didn't believe in Free Will! Tesla said: he sees himself as an automaton, he couldn't even drink - how he was obsessed by working on his inventions. Funny anecdote: I should go to sleep, because my lifestyle is not healthy. But I can't help reading! And even I wish badly to live healthy, it is difficult, because my insane boredom. I experience most profound existential boredom ever, as I have ASD and I Am authentic.  I Am bored more then prisoners, nothing entertains me at this point more then watching wall, except some brief exception, when I have overexcitabilities, just from pure academic interest and existential feelings!

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/301683980_Existential_Boredom_Re-examined_Boredom_as_Authenticity_and_Life-Affirmation

And I do not include emotions into my reasoning: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4532317/

To believe in Free Will: you would have to essentially claim that everything we observe is false and it is somehow else that we can't even imagine! To me concept of Free Will is absurd, unintelligible and not even imaginable! Problem of Origination is based on deductive logic, which is based on empirical observations/facts, I Am reluctant to add axiomatic, as I Am unsure now! Maybe if there was some twist from Quantum Mechanics, discovered by AI superintelligence that would reveal to us new level of observation and essentially everything that we observe now was false and we just imagined it, then I guess... But then it begs the question, could there be unconscious Free Will?! Also one would think for one to have free will, he would have to know why he decided something! E.g. people which do impulsive decisions can't say why they did that: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroscience_of_free_will

Or perhaps if there was just some supernatural consciousness, something god-like unintelligible to humans! I wish my whole life was a dream! https://bigthink.com/surprising-science/new-hypothesis-argues-the-universe-simulates-itself-into-existence

Some surprising study claims structure of universe is conspicuously similar to a brain. Which again can be human brain seeing patterns, or some principle in which matter is formed, it is hypothesis so it can be in like trillion^10000... of ways... https://bigthink.com/surprising-science/the-universe-works-like-a-huge-human-brain-discover-scientists

PS: I read metaphorically about everything that exist, because I have ASD and ADHD: I Am super creative - I Am some sort of AI for generating permutations - not even kidding... I have aphantasia: I Am great at logical, critical, rational thinking!!! I have overexcitabilities and like 50 mental disorders - not even kidding! I harness them for creativity! You could probably ask me anything and I would say I experienced that at some point before! I don't even... I saw everything that happened to everyone since beginning of humanity, I saw 10th of thousands of TV Shows... Life is pure suffering and disgusting! I have superior moral standards (on a level of limbic system) and on level of intelligence (neurocortex) I Am cynical and neutral saying just how it is... If I didn't destroy my intelligence and life wouldn't be meaningless, I would be doing 24/7 optimal strategy of this game... Same I Am forced to live, because taboo which no one can know about and even suicide doesn't really solve anything! There are another 4 theories (probably more) which can mean you know what... It is ultimate suffering, I have constant pain like 9/10, only worse then this is to die painfully! And I recipient of professional help, but it can't do anything logically. Anyway I already know everything that professional can tell me probably, or all main things...

See I don't even know why I wrote that, I wasn't almost conscious of that when I was writing it! I have like ego loss on some level and depersonalisation and derealization and I can channel it by pure thought sometimes! While this is intermittent with periods I feel so real and have existential feelings. I consider all permutations and never have definitive opinions and everything is based on assumptions and we can't observe ultimate reality! Nor do I know why I did that and we have studies that ADHD is caused by genes first in human history... Reality couldn't be more depressing, if you truly was authentic and saw things how they truly are. I wish I could upload everything I know to someone's brain, just to see. But don't really wish it upon anyone... I just wanted to know truth and I saw how it is! I almost cry when think about this! I have strong emotions and I like utilitarianism, not solely! But then instantly my mind concedes that it is not authentic! Live is just suffering and there is no good, or evil. It feels so empty, it is one of worst feeling in the world! I feel like particles and natural laws and flow of information, I don't feel any agency what so ever! And at the same time I feel most beauty anyone can experience - Einstein (I Am paraphrasing): unknown is most beautiful feeling a man can experience! I feel like QM, everything at the same time, every possible permutation of everything! I don't even...

I Am very observant and I read soo much about this and noticed so many things! It is soo overwhelming: it is crazy. Because I Am highly intelligent I know how many things I don't know, I know still nothing and soo much at the same time! When I read about free will, I have insane existential feelings and some sort of deja vu and things I can't even possibly describe. If I see everything what is happening in the world (metaphorically of course). Even Stephen Hawking said, he can't even follow everything from his area of science, it would require superintelligent AI, or more to disentangle this... I feel like god, except powerless to change anything! It is one of worst feeling ever! Again why I Am even writing this, explain this to me how is this Free Will? :D

Am I even real? I could be a boltzman brain (solipsism). Everything seems too absurd to be even real...

Also if you want ideas, give me info and I will apply my heuristics and give output. I ask questions to everything! I don't know what that is!  I feel like living in middle ages, there is so much wrong with society - like everything? More than less!!! I feel like everything hinders progress currently! People are acting in a bad faith and are extremely biased! Who speaks truth nowadays, opposite from mainstream opinion gets censored instantly or worse! It is already totalitarianism. In Nevada Blockchain LLC wants to create its own state with its own municipal goverment, if legislative passes - disgusting!