escapealias

Thank you for this, exactly the kind of thing I was looking for.

Believe it or not, I've had almost every one of these thoughts myself over the last year and a half.

Do you really believe, as a general rule, that the best way to cure abusive people is to give them a supply of victims

Nope. Don't believe it at all.

Do you have any data to support the hypothesis that your "healing" actually works?

I have data to the contrary. I've spent a year and a half trying and the abuse has gotten progressively worse.

Does your girlfriend take a therapy?

Thank you very much this is helpful.

Thanks for this. I am pursuing help. I have scheduled appointments with two therapists (first office visit today) and I'm looking for a third to try to find one that I can work well with.

Erasing the dangerous thoughts is the hardest part and what I wish I had better methods for. I'm in general the type of person that likes to help others, and feel more empathy for her than any other person. Part of the reason I stayed so long is that I viewed the way she was treating me as an illness and thought to myself, what would I do if she had cancer? I'd stick aroun... (read more)

Thanks for the encouragement, I do intend to write more.

It's only been a week since I removed myself from the situation, and I'm already starting to feel shocked at how much worse it was than I realized at the time. Seeing the faces and hearing the comments of friends and family when I tell them stories makes a world of difference. Not one person has told me I'm making a bad decision.

If you'd asked me 3 years ago if I could ever be in a situation like this I would have assigned it very very low probability. Low probability events happen, but I think what ... (read more)

Does anyone know of any posts or resources that are targeted at rationalists that help with extracting yourself and recovering from an abusive relationship?

I've been a longtime student of LessWrong and related communities, studied physics at a top school, great at programming, very introspective etc. etc. All the regular boxes checked. Just a week ago I left a relationship that I realized has become extremely abusive (both emotionally and physically) and I'm having a lot of trouble understanding how I ever got in that situation. Having intensely strong sig... (read more)