I'd love to know your views on Christopher Alexander. It seems like a topic that hasn't received much attention in this community.
In my relationship, I’m looking to develop a system based on equity, not correctness. The former ensures that everyone has what they need, while the latter is based on pure mathematics.
It’s the following quote that stayed with me from a book by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: “In a healthy relationship, it is the role of whoever can provide to provide.”
Trust is an essential element in this relationship, and it’s vital that each partner will live a similar lifestyle to the other. We don’t need to share everything, but we need to work together.
Of course that each relationship is different, and there is no system that works for everyone. That’s why I’m willing to try and see what sticks.
An example of a process for a couple where both partners work and have a monthly paycheck:
Now that both partners have their needs fulfilled, the monetary difference in the contribution is just a cost or an investment of being in that relationship.