Did you ever actually assert that your reasoning was out of principle, only to suddenly remember the experience through an unrelated pathway and thus the remember the real reason of your refusal later on, contradicting that initial assertion, or was it simply that you had never actually considered your reason of refusal until you were 15, and that it had only felt like you had been making the assumption that you had refused out of principle when you had never asserted that as truth- you had just never considered your reason, and you knew when you were 15 that there was reason to refuse- because it was a negative-sum game.