You have presented several points to address. I understand you have the following concerns:
1. What is the less wrong approach to rationality and life in general? 2. What is the role of rationality in ensuring progress towards your goals, notably, survival and prosperity. 3. What to do about your experience of fright, and reading between the lines, anxiety.
These cannot be addressed directly because they are interwoven, so I have three responses:
First, what you are experiencing is perhaps not rational in a traditional sense, but it is sensible. I understand our brains evolved to process a dangerous environment and respond accordingly, and you are alluding to several real threats: An asteroid could cause our extinction today, and various anthropogenic threats remain without sufficient mitigation (climate change, misaligned AI, generalised pollution, etc). Fear is a sensible reaction for your brain to have in this scenario, but unfortunately it evolved in a time when fear was sufficient, and the scale of these threats renders it ineffective here. Emotional regulation and reason are more effective long-term strategies.
Second, rationality might not be a silver bullet to the issues you discussed, but it is a tool we can use to create a safer world. We can study the natural laws and learn to build orbital telescopes that reduce the probability of asteroid impact, we can create vaccines to ensure some of the population survives the next pandemic, and we can build sustainable energy sources. Without rationality we would be stuck in a mire of confusion and superstition, perhaps without some of the modern threats, but assuredly waiting for the inevitable asteroid impact or pandemic without protection. Rationality doesn't provide perfect protection, but it's better than nothing, and is a critical dependency to the survival of the human species.
Third, you mentioned you are no longer certain that being nice and working hard will help you achieve your goals. This is again, sensible, and not indicative of a failing on your part. According to models such as Kohlberg's theory of moral development, niceness is part of conventional moral reasoning (good boy/girl attitude), but it does not necessarily last, and there are other ways of being. Some individuals go on to develop post-conventional reasoning, which is characterised by abstract social contracts and generalised reasoning as the basis for morality. The theory itself is questionable and could be improved, but it's a sensible foundation for the rather obvious idea that we grow through various stages of morality to develop deeper ways of being. It's not to say you should be unkind to others, but to acknowledge that questioning niceness and asking what is actually right is progress, and if you take it far enough, rationality in the form of abstract reason.
Note: This is my first post here, and I hope it post effectively balances the need for compassion with rationality, but prefer closed-loop control to open-loop, and would value feedback from community members on how this lands.
You have presented several points to address. I understand you have the following concerns:
1. What is the less wrong approach to rationality and life in general?
2. What is the role of rationality in ensuring progress towards your goals, notably, survival and prosperity.
3. What to do about your experience of fright, and reading between the lines, anxiety.
These cannot be addressed directly because they are interwoven, so I have three responses:
First, what you are experiencing is perhaps not rational in a traditional sense, but it is sensible. I understand our brains evolved to process a dangerous environment and respond accordingly, and you are alluding to several real threats: An asteroid could cause our extinction today, and various anthropogenic threats remain without sufficient mitigation (climate change, misaligned AI, generalised pollution, etc). Fear is a sensible reaction for your brain to have in this scenario, but unfortunately it evolved in a time when fear was sufficient, and the scale of these threats renders it ineffective here. Emotional regulation and reason are more effective long-term strategies.
Second, rationality might not be a silver bullet to the issues you discussed, but it is a tool we can use to create a safer world. We can study the natural laws and learn to build orbital telescopes that reduce the probability of asteroid impact, we can create vaccines to ensure some of the population survives the next pandemic, and we can build sustainable energy sources. Without rationality we would be stuck in a mire of confusion and superstition, perhaps without some of the modern threats, but assuredly waiting for the inevitable asteroid impact or pandemic without protection. Rationality doesn't provide perfect protection, but it's better than nothing, and is a critical dependency to the survival of the human species.
Third, you mentioned you are no longer certain that being nice and working hard will help you achieve your goals. This is again, sensible, and not indicative of a failing on your part. According to models such as Kohlberg's theory of moral development, niceness is part of conventional moral reasoning (good boy/girl attitude), but it does not necessarily last, and there are other ways of being. Some individuals go on to develop post-conventional reasoning, which is characterised by abstract social contracts and generalised reasoning as the basis for morality. The theory itself is questionable and could be improved, but it's a sensible foundation for the rather obvious idea that we grow through various stages of morality to develop deeper ways of being. It's not to say you should be unkind to others, but to acknowledge that questioning niceness and asking what is actually right is progress, and if you take it far enough, rationality in the form of abstract reason.
Note: This is my first post here, and I hope it post effectively balances the need for compassion with rationality, but prefer closed-loop control to open-loop, and would value feedback from community members on how this lands.