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Motivation has always intrigued me, ever since I was I kid, I wondered why I had none. I would read my textbooks until I got bored. I'd ace all my tests and do no homework. Every night I went to sleep swearing to myself that tomorrow would be different, tomorrow I would tell my parents the truth when they asked if I had homework and actually do it. I'd feel so guilty for lying, but I never actually did anything.

I joined the military because I knew I couldn't survive in college the way I'd got through high-school. 10 years later I'm smarter, but still technically uneducated and no more motivated.

I've started to think to myself lately... That the sum of human knowledge. From the very discovery of our fundamentals to the pinnacles of theory and achievement adds up to contributions from what couldn't possibly be more than 10% of the people who have ever lived. What stops people not from just achieving their goals, but even wanting goals in the first place?

I've started to wonder if I do have the capability to become someone who could legitimately contribute something to the sum of human knowledge (rationally speaking I have to admit that I probably don't). But if I do is it an obligation? Should I push myself against my own will to achieve things I don't even really care about?