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Most fads, including moral ones, readily admit that previous versions were suboptimal. If anything, the more rapidly changing the style, the more virtuous the ones who can keep up look.

(FWIW, I do think better masks would have provided more protection for less suffering than other preventative measures. In the absence of state-mandated good masks, I wish the social pressure had been there to make good masks trendy.)

FWIW, I've never heard anyone use the term spoons to refer to their degree of willpower. Rather, I've always heard people use the term spoons to refer to their level of physical energy/stamina.

For example, someone might say that having to stand (rather than sit) on public transit wiped out their spoons for the day.

If I heard someone say that clearing out their email inbox wiped out their spoons for the day, I would be surprised. I would assume they were using the term at an additional level of remove from the original metaphor. That's fine, but nonstandard in my experience.

Many tasks take both physical and mental energy, like running errands. So I can see how some people might assume, from hearing spoons refer to such tasks, that it meant both kinds of energy. Or they could assume the opposite from me in terms of which one it refers to more. Or, the consensus on its definition could be different now than a decade ago when I formed my impression. Still, here's my data point.

I think we're much closer to AGI than we are to being able to upload human minds.

So, although an aligned AGI would probably accelerate research for uploading, I don't think it's guaranteed it would succeed in short order or even ever.

My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have known each other for 18.

We share a sense of humor (very important for my everyday life) and some tastes in fiction, but have divergent hobbies and intellectual pursuits. He is not interested in rationality.

Although I sometimes wish we had more interests in common, it's relaxing to not have him be competition in those areas. With regard to rationality, he rarely calls me out on biases or tries to get me to explain a problem more precisely than I already have. I have other friends who do that, and although I respect and appreciate it, it's not always comfortable. My husband is someone comfortable I can always turn to. He sympathizes, reassures me, and helps me brainstorm solutions. He's intelligent, motivated, and has good ideas that often cut across the ruts I've been wearing in my thought process. He respects and trusts my ability to think through things thoroughly, and doesn't denigrate it as overthinking, though sometimes I'm disappointed he doesn't always want to hear the saga of how I came to make a decision.

As for EA, we currently donate 5% of our net income to mostly effective charities, primarily due to my wishes. My husband appreciates GiveWell's guidance, reads up on their top charities, and voices some preferences about which ones he's feeling each year during our allocation conversation. He understands behind-the-scenes tools like QALYs but doesn't geek out about them like I do, which I am fine with.

This isn't a criticism that would be easy to improve your calculator based on. Still, I will report that the main impediment to its practicality for me is that I usually try to stay in the shade. I don't have a good way of adjusting the weather report's UV index to account for being in the shade. For example, today I spent 2.5 hours in the shade at midday without sunscreen and got a slight burn on my chest.

You can say:

"My body's telling me I'm stressed."

"My body's telling me this isn't sustainable."

"My body's telling me no."

Internal experience is very important for things like this. Citing it is a valid response, and your friends ought to respect that, even in an "ask culture" where they are welcome to push you and ask hard questions.

Personal effort does generate stress (sometimes distress, sometimes eustress). Although a doctor can use crude tools like e.g. checking your blood pressure, you have a much more sensitive ability to understand your body and stress level than anyone else. Most of us have less of that ability than would be ideal, so we should value and cultivate what we do have.

That said, "this is stressful/unsustainable" doesn't mean that it was a bad idea to give that thing a try. Like you said, "have to try it to know it." Nor does it necessarily mean that it would continue to be equally stressful/unsustainable if you were to continue. New routines come with a transaction cost of added stress. Sometimes if you can get over that hump, it gets better. Sometimes not.

Even "my body is telling me no" about something that would not in fact get easier with practice doesn't necessarily mean that your productivity is capped at that level. It just means your "working harder" is capped at that level, currently. "Working smarter" is sometimes an option. And your personal budget for stress will wax and wane depending on outside factors. E.g. sleep, nutrition, security, social affirmation, etc. We are still in a pandemic, and many coping methods for replenishing ourselves have been unavailable for a long time. So maybe now just isn't the time.

I think it was good that you listened to your body, and good that you're asking these questions about the value and nature of personal experience and how to communicate it.