I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Not sure why it isn't getting more engagement.
If you avoided reading it only because you assumed it would be AI slop you should give it a read.
That being said, it being "pretty good" may not be that much of an endorsement of GPT-5's writing skills. I expect most of the credit for its quality should go to Trevor the, presumably human, editor.
Just wanted to critique this line of your critique,
“She could tell from the particular way he moved around the counter, post-endorphins quiet.” is pretty weak; he’s in running clothes, presumably he generally runs before coffee… it’s going for intimacy/her knowing him well but achieves the opposite in context. I’d cut it.
I don't think she can see Kai yet. She just woke up. I think she's still in the bedroom at this point and listening to him move around in the kitchen, so she wouldn't yet have seen that he's in his running clothes. I agree that "the partic... (read more)
Thanks, yes I see what you mean. I hadn't thought that it would be so negligible. Thanks for explaining further.
I guess over millions of years the oxygen would deplete to practically nothing but this would be due to erosion and tectonics not animal respiration.