[This is an entry for lsusr’s write-like-lsusr competition.]
I meditated on suffering and came up with several half-baked ideas. Their apparent contradictions with each other and with my previous writings is a feature, not a bug; if you meditate on them, you may be enlightened.
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The Shrimp Meditation Project. Trillions of shrimp are possibly suffering horribly every year (we know this because they aren't cute, so it's an especially strong countersignal to care about them, plus Math.) If we can teach them how to meditate, we can alleviate their suffering. I propose a large scale operation where we breed shrimp to be more capable of meditation, then sell the best bloodlines to the factory
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My post was intended seriously (well, parts of it are obviously a joke) and I didn't put much effort into making it sound like lsusr, as the rules explicitly said I could post anyway. Besides, since I am lsusr I don't need to imitate myself.
The serious parts of my post are serious, anyway.