I'm pleased to hear that you liked my characters. I'm new to writing and characterization is something I'm focused on improving.

You're right, and I'm willing to own a certain amount of gender-bias. While I have no problem at all with woman having equal rights, I do on some level tend to see the world tinted with a "men hunt/gather and women nest" perspective.

I hadn't noticed that come through in the story, though, until you pointed it out. Honestly, I think length played a large part in it.

As you noted, I don't have a great deal of room to work with, as the point of Word Cereal is that it's short fiction - something you could consume as regularly as, say, a webcomic.

Streamlining the system to move only men made it much easier to set the stage, though that's a decision I'd made subconsciously when I wrote it, that I'm only seeing (and justifying) now.

Anyway, thanks for the kind words and insight :)

I hear you - and I don't disagree.

However, I ask that you imagine it from the perspective of a small village.

It's fairly well known that, in some villages, everyone is responsible for raising the children, not just the parents who conceived them. Over time, this process might evolve and grow, as populations evolve and grow, into the modern day version I've depicted.

In this latest version of the system, you're still allowed to keep in touch with the children you've conceived (and the wives you've had); it's just that someone else from your village is raising them right now.

And this seems weird (which is the point), but not when you consider that this system didn't come about overnight, but grew from something that made a lot more sense when the population was smaller.

Does that make any sense?

Many thanks!

Sidenote: There's a new short story @ Word Cereal every week

(This week's is running a little behind, but we won't mention that :)

Thank you so much!

Thanks :)

Hi All -

This is my first time posting a comment here @ Less Wrong.

I really liked both this post and Eliezer's story 'Three Worlds Collide' - so much so that I've written my own weirdtopian story, 'Round Robin'.

You can read it at the following link, if you'd like:

http://www.wordcereal.com/serial/?story=18

p.s. I apologize that this comment is kinda spammy - I'm posting it because I actually think you might be interested, not to drive traffic (but you'd just have to take my word on that :)