I'm turning 20 in January too, and I catch some extent of similar nervousness in myself, but it's overshadowed by thrill and gladness that I'm alive exactly right now. Even if brutal mutilation is in store for me, even if there are only a few years left, things are going to be exciting and unique. Missing this would be the greater tragedy, in terms of subjective experience.
Though I feel more optimistic about outcomes than what it seems you imply: in my model, high wealth inequality, major catastrophe, high fractions of the population being killed, etc. are probable, but 100% extinction holds very little probability mass. Predictions can be debated elsewhere, but at least emotionally, if that's correct, the stakes and bar for performance are high, yet you have leverage and opportunity to persist, if your will to live is extraordinary. I really want to see if I can win!
I'm turning 20 in January too, and I catch some extent of similar nervousness in myself, but it's overshadowed by thrill and gladness that I'm alive exactly right now. Even if brutal mutilation is in store for me, even if there are only a few years left, things are going to be exciting and unique. Missing this would be the greater tragedy, in terms of subjective experience.
Though I feel more optimistic about outcomes than what it seems you imply: in my model, high wealth inequality, major catastrophe, high fractions of the population being killed, etc. are probable, but 100% extinction holds very little probability mass. Predictions can be debated elsewhere, but at least emotionally, if that's correct, the stakes and bar for performance are high, yet you have leverage and opportunity to persist, if your will to live is extraordinary. I really want to see if I can win!