Life is more enjoyable when we concede that our unconscious (desires, fears, goals) are ultimately what runs us. That doesn’t mean we can’t superimpose conscious goals atop what the unconscious has planned, only that vigorously working in opposition to the unconscious is painful and futile.
It’s important, too, to recognize that the wisdom of the unconscious is incomplete and based on primitive urges. But we can work with it to elevate our purpose beyond hunger / sex / staying alive. First by listening to and acknowledging it. Paying attention to dreams — “the royal road to the unconscious.” Making room between having a stray thought and, before dismissing it, giving it a little conscious consideration. Curiosity without judgement. Growing its ability to trust that we take its concerns and impulses seriously, even though we don’t always accede to them.
Making friends with ourselves in ways like this can bring our conscious and unconscious functioning more in line with one another and spare us a lot of tsurris, fighting our nature in order to reach goals we’re not fully aligned on. Getting to the gym and not being faced with cravings for unhealthy food is one kind of alignment. Clarity around relationships is another: Knowing when to stay or go via-a-vis different people and situations without drama or muddle-headedness. Etc etc etc.
We can always go on confident that we’re consciously the boss while tangled in neurotic conflicts with ourselves. (“Late again? After she told you it feels dismissive?” Imagine that internal convo being productive rather than berating. “Why am I doing that, and is there a way to line up my behavior with what I tell myself I am or want?”)
Just something that came to mind from reading this piece. Thanks
Life is more enjoyable when we concede that our unconscious (desires, fears, goals) are ultimately what runs us. That doesn’t mean we can’t superimpose conscious goals atop what the unconscious has planned, only that vigorously working in opposition to the unconscious is painful and futile.
It’s important, too, to recognize that the wisdom of the unconscious is incomplete and based on primitive urges. But we can work with it to elevate our purpose beyond hunger / sex / staying alive. First by listening to and acknowledging it. Paying attention to dreams — “the royal road to the unconscious.” Making room between having a stray thought and, before dismissing it, giving it a little conscious consideration. Curiosity without judgement. Growing its ability to trust that we take its concerns and impulses seriously, even though we don’t always accede to them.
Making friends with ourselves in ways like this can bring our conscious and unconscious functioning more in line with one another and spare us a lot of tsurris, fighting our nature in order to reach goals we’re not fully aligned on. Getting to the gym and not being faced with cravings for unhealthy food is one kind of alignment. Clarity around relationships is another: Knowing when to stay or go via-a-vis different people and situations without drama or muddle-headedness. Etc etc etc.
We can always go on confident that we’re consciously the boss while tangled in neurotic conflicts with ourselves. (“Late again? After she told you it feels dismissive?” Imagine that internal convo being productive rather than berating. “Why am I doing that, and is there a way to line up my behavior with what I tell myself I am or want?”)
Just something that came to mind from reading this piece. Thanks