But building flat-pack furniture is ADULT LEGOS!
Yes, you are correct that the Cheerful Price could be less than my normal wage. But this is not usually the case for me. People aren't usually asking my Cheerful Price to eat some ice cream, or something similarly pleasant. And unfortunately we don't live in a world where my regular wages are above my Cheerful Price.
I expect most people on LW to be okay being asked their Cheerful Price to have sex with someone. But e.g. even contemplating "Cheerful Price to kill my dog" throws an error and causes large psychic damage.
(Otoh, I fell asleep pondering my Cheerful Price for various random things, and I think it's about $100k for my dog to stay with my ex instead of me)
(Edited: replaced torture thought experiment)
It's sometimes hard for me to figure out exactly where my "cheerful price" is. So when I'm "negotiating" with people I trust, I often list a couple of prices, that are some set of:
This can help because finding the ONE SPECIFIC NUMBER that is your Cheerful Price feels daunting. But feeling out a range helps you narrow it down.For example: "You want my blegg?? Well I definitely wouldn't give it to you for $10. But if you offered me for $500 I'd think it was my lucky day and you were crazy. Normally I give people bleggs for about $100. I've never gotten more than $200 for a blegg, and I was really happy about that, so.... $200?"And honestly I feel more comfortable giving someone that whole set of information than just throwing out $200.
Yes. Trying to Think Hard about something logical just makes my mind feel like a brick wall slams down. Things that work: -Sticking with things that are easy enough I don't actually have to use Real Brain Power. If I'm learning complex things, the underlying level of abstraction has to be absolutely second nature before I put anything on top of it. -Pretending To Think, which works good enough if you just want to trick people into believing that you are working hard at thinking-Tricking my mind into not recognizing it is Thinking by use of humor, play, narrativeLike Ustice I have ADHD, and have a frequent feeling of low-level boredom that I get around by usually having two tracks running in my brain, e.g. watching TV while working / answering emails.
I lived in DT and it was awful. OTOH I lived in quite a few other Rationalist houses (in both the bay and nyc) and they were all positive experiences.
I think making sure you filter for similar cleanliness levels, adultiness levels, lifestyle, etc is extremely important.
To me, living with random people you just vaguely like is still pretty good if they are a good lifestyle, etc match.
But it only takes ONE person to completely ruin a group house.
I'm too old to really mesh with university culture, and don't code which makes programmer/startup culture not a good fit either.(I would also argue that woke culture is taking over coastal programmer culture too, anyways)
You mention that moving to a rural area would be an "all-in" dynamic, but Berkeley feels more that way to me than most places. It's so far-left / woke here that I feel my only option is to hang out with rationalists. It doesn't really feel like I have social options outside of the rationality community that aren't a version of "hold your tongue and fake agree with everything that's said."I've lived in a lot of places, and there DO exist places with much weaker / nonexistent cancel culture. Blue cities in red states are usually this way.
If I were to come up with a Clever Title for some of this, I might call it The Trap of the Local Maxima. I did childcare and disability care in college, because it was a better option than being a cashier or something. Then I graduated and it was a recession, but I could use my childcare experience to get nanny jobs. And so on, and so on. Now I have about 15 years of childcare experience. It is REALLY EASY for me to get GOOD PAYING nanny jobs. I can literally go on to a website, send out 5-10 applications to what I think are the best jobs there, and be working within a week. Every now and then I try to do something else, but it is harder to find other types of jobs given my resume, and when I do the job is usually harder than nannying, and pays less. (I was recently an Office Manager, which had expectations I couldn't live up to, and paid less than nannying. Now I do some Virtual Assistant work that is mostly writing / social media which is nice and easy, and a similar amount of pay per hour, but not as many hours per day)I don't even LIKE being a nanny. I never CHOSE it as a career. I don't PARTICULARLY like children (not in the way most people who choose childcare do). Kids are easy, but my people-skills are mediocre when dealing with e.g. parents or other nannies. I tell myself someday I will semi-retire and be a dog walker.
COVID has taught me that I don't need a big physical community, but it's ALSO taught me that I am 100% uninterested in virtual replacements. I still e.g. post on facebook, but have not enjoyed virtual hangouts and the like. If I could have a community of 7-200 people that were on the same street / property / very close, I think that would be my ideal. Being close to other similar groupings would be nice but not necessary. I think a community of about 20 is much stronger than a community of about 100 (the larger number necesitates weaker ties). A major issue is finding 7-20 people who would be a good fit and are willing to do it