1) Dig a hole in the garden and hide it there.
2) Put it in a waterproof pouch at the bottom of the local pond
3) Put it in the same container I use to store the pens I normally use for writing
4) Put it in a pen museum
5) Hide it under the floorboards in my house
6) Put it in a safe in a bank
7) Leave it permanently in my trouser pocket
8) Have a risky surgical operation to open a cut in my body, insert the pen then seal the wound, and cut it out in 50 years time
9) Hide it in a cave
10) Go and live as a hermit in Antarctica for 50 years. Keep pen with me at all times
11) Have it stored with the crown jewels
12) Sew it into my coat
13) Put it into a puzzle box
14) Hide it at the top of a tree in a forest
15) Break into the villains den and attach it to the bottom of their leaders throne
16) Hide it under the altar in the local church
17) Hollow out a flagpole, insert pen into hole
18) Hide it under some rocks at the top of a hard to climb mountain
19) Hide it at the bottom of a barrel of beer in the cellar
20) Remove a stone from a wall, insert pen, then cover it up with a narrower stone
21) Bury it in a grave
22) Put it on a fishing boat, and sink the boat out at sea
23) Start a pen making company. Make lots of identical pens. Hide it amongst the masses.
24) Put in down the back of the sofa
25) Hide it under my bed
26) Hide it in a priest hole
27) Let the villains find a fake copy of the pen so they give up and stop looking. The real pen can then be left on display on my mantlepiece.
28) If a small piece of a pen is removed and replaced it is still considered to be the same pen. Repeat this many times until there is nothing of the original left. As there is nothing of the original left the villains won't recognise it as the pen they are after and it can be left in plain sight.
29) Dismantle the pen into its component pieces. Put them into a container. The villains are too stupid to recognise they are the components of the pen so they can be left in the open. Reassemble the pen in fifty years.
30) Join the villains. Use position of influence within their organisation to misdirect their search in the wrong direction.
31) Spread rumours that it has been hidden somewhere else to misdirect their search.
32) Build a model of a ship. Hide pen inside the model.
33) Hide it down the spine of a book.
34) Use the pen as the pointer on a weather vane, and put it on the roof.
35) Create an early modern art style exhibition. Amongst all the junk no one will notice the pen.
36) Incorporate the pen into a wind chime in the garden.
37) Frame the villains for murder, they won't be finding the pen after they've been hanged.
38) Just make a pre-emptive strike and kill all the villains myself.
39) Add some decorations to the pen so in no longer looks like what they are expecting. They can be removed in 50 years time.
40) Give the pen to a trusted friend the villains don't know about to hide it, then go on an expedition travelling around the world to lead them on a wild goose chase.
41) Join the army, and keep the pen on me. The villains will have a hard time searching for it whilst I am surrounded by a lot of heavily armed people.
42) Join an expedition to explore the Amazon at the last moment. taking the pen with me; they will have a hard time following me.
43) Bury it in the zoo in a cage containing a lot of extremely dangerous animals. Even if they figure out where it is hidden they may be too frightened to risk going after it.
44) Bribe the local police to hide it in the police station
45) In an emergency it could be temporarily hidden up someones bottom
46) As absolute dictator of my country I will ban pens, and require that they are all handed over to me, and buried in a secure vault under my palace. Even if the villains can breach security they will have a hard time finding the one they want amongst all the confiscated pens.
47) Just hand it over to them. They refuse to believe that this is the real pen because I would never hand it over to them and throw it away so I can recover it later. As a result they look everywhere for the pen except where it actually is.
48) Let them have the pen, then steal it back from them later, replacing it with a fake. As they believe they have the pen they won't search for it so hiding it from them is trivial.
49) Hide it inside a grandfather clock
50) When they come to interrogate me try and engage them in a long conversation, preferably one which involves them boasting about their future plans; whilst my friend goes out the back door to take the pen to a safer location.
1) Phone a friend to come and open the door for you
2) Break the window with my fists and jump out
3) If the floor is made of soil a tunnel can be dug under the walls
4) Use the power in the phone to start a fire and set fire to the door
5) Disassemble the phone and try to make a key to pick the lock
6) Crawl out through a convenient ventilation duct
7) If the lock is connected to the internet the phone could be used to hack it and trick it into unlocking
8) Wait for whoever locked you in to open the door, knock them unconscious and go through the open door
9) Jump up to the low roof and open the skylight
10) Cry out at the top of my voice, to ask someone outside to let me out
11) If the lock can be unlocked by saying the right password keep guessing it until you get it right
12) Dismantle the phone to make an improvised screwdriver, and unscrew the screws holding the lock in place
13) Post messages on every social media account, and hope someone will pick them up and free you.
14) Look for and find a secret passage leading out
15) Contact a good lawyer on the phone, to get the authorities to let you out of jail.
16) Slide piece of clothing under the door, push key out of lock, pull clothing and key under door, use key to open lock
17) Use phone to send money to someone as a bribe to let you out
18) If the phone happens to have the key stored on it to open the lock just use.
19) Pick away at the mortar holding the brisk together until they can be removed.
20) Use acid in the phones battery to melt the lock
21) Pretend to be dead, so whoever locked you in will take your body outside.
22) Bang out an SOS signal on the door in the hope it will attract the attention of someone who will let you out
23) Call the fire brigade to get you out
24) Take something thin out of the phone, insert it between the door and the frame, and try and force the lock back
25) Crawl out through a large gap under the door
26) Call a locksmith to let you out
27) Keep running into the door until it gives way
28) Keep jumping up and down on the floor till it gives way and you fall into the room below.
29) Just wait. If the room is in a bad state of repair one of the walls might collapse allowing me to walk out.
30) Who cares about the physical world. If I have wi-fi I can escape virtually into cyberspace
31) Pray to a God to let me out
32) Find something magnetic in the phone. Use the magnet to draw the bolt on the other side of the door back
33) My clothes are an improvised suit or armour partly made up of a saw (I was attending a fancy dress party). Use the saw to cut through the lock
34) Set my clothes on fire. The lock is programmed to open if a fire is detected, so I can walk out
35) Use the phone to create a program for a super intelligent AI, and leave it to figure out how to get me out
36) Post a creative thinking exercise to Less Wrong: Find 50 ways to get out of a locked room and hope someone comes up with a usable idea
37) Use the phone to contact my driverless car. It can ram the walls to break through and let me out
38) The room is precariously balanced on a cliff edge. Moving to one side will cause it to topple and then break up
39) Someone forgot to build a roof, so I can jump up grab the top of the walls and hall myself out
40) If there is a letter box in the door I can reach through it and unbolt the door
41) The lock is made out of glass. Sing at its resonant frequency so it shatters and the door can be opened
42) Just walk up to the door. It just happens to be a type that automatically unlocks and opens when someone approaches
43) Fiddle with the phone so it starts transmitting at a frequency that will interfere with other important transmissions. The authorities will need to come and unlock the room to stop the interference.
44) The walls of the room are made of light weight plastic which is not fixed to the floor, so I can pick the entire room up and slip under it.
45) Remove some wire from the phone, push it through the letterbox and try to pick up the key which has been left on a nearby shelf with it.
46) I left a spare key buried in the ground just in case I got locked in. Dig it out and use it to escape.
47) There is a big whole in a wall that has been covered over with a piece of canvas. I can find something sharp in the phone to cut my way out.
48) Kill this body and activate a clone which is not locked inside the room.
49) If our technology advanced enough that we can live without food or water for 10 years maybe its advanced enough that I can just teleport out.
50) Keep punching the wall until it is worn away and I can step out