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Some additional points from the perspective of the benign violator (the other side of the happy interaction coin). I really enjoy being the benign violator with everyone, and am generalizing on my own experience:

  • Functionally, it's relationship-deepening for the reasons mentioned for the benign-violated perspective (trust, demo of personal knowledge, joy in making a friend happy by creating a positive, more memorable experience). I like deep, intimate relationships with people I choose to spend time with.
  • Signals symmetry - I'd enjoy being pushed in the pool too!
  • With new people: Nice way to build up rapport and establish mutual happiness-causing patterns from the get go (in my experience, most people like slightly risky social boundary violation and I like almost all my relationship types to be fun-loving). Goes wrong sometimes, but it's usually easy to adjust or even filter out people whose boundaries aren't conducive to my own joy.

Funnily enough, triads became a meme format I've seen around recently (