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When I talk to my father, I sometimes have a monologue that I should have understood more about many fields in education/general in life; at the very least, I would have utilized my own views and made a decision that was free of other people's opinions. Who is to blame for the current situation? Is it my parents? Is it society and the greed of some people? Is it the helplessness of some people that forces this on us, or is it me?
I feel as though I have forgotten about my own goals and dreams. I find myself mired in the cycle of consumption and society expectations instead of working toward worthwhile objectives. Without any thought or reflection on my genuine passions and purposes in life, these unfulfilling days slip by.
Although I am aware that my interactions with other people form and define who I am as a person, there are moments when I wish it weren't true. Although I'm not sure, I believe there is an alternate way.
Even though I'm not sure if I'm in love with someone or with the notion of being in love, if they are good to me — I suppose I adore them. Although I constantly question myself, "What do I know about them or what do they know about me?", I sometimes feel as though I need to start at the beginning.I adjusted to everything a little bit.
I believe I have solutions for the problems I mostly encounter, but I was unable to put those suggestions into practice for whatever reason.
Why do I think this much, despite the fact that as I type this, I am thinking more than all of this? Why am I interested in being exposed to all of these ideas?
My state of mind prevents me from even seeing what I want to achieve or who I want to be. I sometimes have a very nebulous feeling that what I desire to be or achieve is beyond these materialistic wealth yet sometimes I feel that, in the present day, to truly get away from all of these, once gain we need aid of this tools, I like to quote the saying "It's quieter in the eye of the storm". However, there are moments when I desire to adopt human-centered practices in life or in education, which needs more exposure that are free from any influences.
But did you notice that I'm thinking the same things I did at the beginning again? And once more, I'm agitated and irritated about everything.