I am not an expert on dating. In fact, I am an extremely conservative male who is not polyamorous and who is not really interested in dating. I am already married. I in fact never really dated anyone to begin with, except my wife.
However, I have seen my friends approach dating in a way that seems irrational to me.
What is Algorithmic Dating? It is some process. It is an algorithm that is executed. People also are computer programs. A certain number of information packets are exchanged and the end result is a relationship, either short-term or long-term.
First let me outline an algorithm that I think will work better than what my friends who are vastly more liberal are doing.
There is the notion of smooth functions. Your intimacy graph can look like a straight line, it can look like a step function. It can look like a y = x ^ 2 curve, etc.
I am thinking it should be like a straight line at a 45 degree angle.
Some of my friends are even discussing things like escalation windows and how to make a move? I am thinking no moves should be made.
A move is a discrete step function jump. What should happen is a 45 degree angle straight line.
On the first day, you simply say “hello”. Then you increase interaction length to 2 words on the second day, then to 3 words on the third day, then to 4 words on the 4th day. At any given point if the person you are interested in does not reply, you can mark them as not interested and move on to the next person.
I am not really sure why people have this thinking that people should try again if a person does not reply. This I am thinking does not make sense. Now increasing things 1 word at a time in each Day is a contrived example. However, 1 sentence per Day is not a contrived example.
You can exchange upto 50 or 100 sentences per Day.
Then you should not make a move. You should not suddenly ask this girl out. I am writing from a male standpoint. I have no idea what a female perspective on this will be.
What you should do is meet this person in a social gathering. This gathering should have 10-12 people. This social gathering also should not happen in a step function way. First a WhatsApp group let us say must be formed for this social gathering. Or this person should be invited to an existing social gathering. Even better still since most people do not organize social gatherings, you have to get invited to the social gathering this person is also in.
Once you are in the gathering you can continue exchanging the appropriate number of sentences in this social gathering. Gradually, you can in this social gathering exchange more sentences.
In such social gatherings, you can spend more time alone with this girl. Eventually you can do something like suggest taking a walk.
Of course, the girl might refuse. This is completely fine. You can adopt a 2 strikes policy. I know people do the 3 strikes policy because of this baseball cultural phenomenon, but if the girl is interested it is highly unlikely she will flake.
Then after this, you will in this social gathering itself propose something like a meeting with a smaller group of people. You can strike off the people present in this gathering one at a time.
Finally, you will meet her alone. This will be your date.
Henceforth, also I am thinking the 45 degree straight line strategy is what will work.
This gives the girl the information she wants in order to make a decision on you.
Fortunately, I do not have to do all of this, since I am extremely conservative. I am politically also not exactly libertarian but economically conservative. I am also socially conservative. I do not in general find liberal sexual norms appealing. But I understand there are many people like this. Both men and women do not really believe in one everlasting soulmate.
I am thinking this is where the men are going wrong at least.
Some absence of sudden moves is what is required is what I am thinking.
I am thinking people should strictly adhere to the 2 strikes policy also. This avoids social awkwardness.
However, a lot of my liberal friends are doing things I am thinking are making no sense. This is why I wrote this post.
Thank you for reading. I hope you find the right partner (or partners) for yourself.
I am not an expert on dating. In fact, I am an extremely conservative male who is not polyamorous and who is not really interested in dating. I am already married. I in fact never really dated anyone to begin with, except my wife.
However, I have seen my friends approach dating in a way that seems irrational to me.
What is Algorithmic Dating? It is some process. It is an algorithm that is executed. People also are computer programs. A certain number of information packets are exchanged and the end result is a relationship, either short-term or long-term.
First let me outline an algorithm that I think will work better than what my friends who are vastly more liberal are doing.
There is the notion of smooth functions. Your intimacy graph can look like a straight line, it can look like a step function. It can look like a y = x ^ 2 curve, etc.
I am thinking it should be like a straight line at a 45 degree angle.
Some of my friends are even discussing things like escalation windows and how to make a move? I am thinking no moves should be made.
A move is a discrete step function jump. What should happen is a 45 degree angle straight line.
On the first day, you simply say “hello”. Then you increase interaction length to 2 words on the second day, then to 3 words on the third day, then to 4 words on the 4th day. At any given point if the person you are interested in does not reply, you can mark them as not interested and move on to the next person.
I am not really sure why people have this thinking that people should try again if a person does not reply. This I am thinking does not make sense. Now increasing things 1 word at a time in each Day is a contrived example. However, 1 sentence per Day is not a contrived example.
You can exchange upto 50 or 100 sentences per Day.
Then you should not make a move. You should not suddenly ask this girl out. I am writing from a male standpoint. I have no idea what a female perspective on this will be.
What you should do is meet this person in a social gathering. This gathering should have 10-12 people. This social gathering also should not happen in a step function way. First a WhatsApp group let us say must be formed for this social gathering. Or this person should be invited to an existing social gathering. Even better still since most people do not organize social gatherings, you have to get invited to the social gathering this person is also in.
Once you are in the gathering you can continue exchanging the appropriate number of sentences in this social gathering. Gradually, you can in this social gathering exchange more sentences.
In such social gatherings, you can spend more time alone with this girl. Eventually you can do something like suggest taking a walk.
Of course, the girl might refuse. This is completely fine. You can adopt a 2 strikes policy. I know people do the 3 strikes policy because of this baseball cultural phenomenon, but if the girl is interested it is highly unlikely she will flake.
Then after this, you will in this social gathering itself propose something like a meeting with a smaller group of people. You can strike off the people present in this gathering one at a time.
Finally, you will meet her alone. This will be your date.
Henceforth, also I am thinking the 45 degree straight line strategy is what will work.
This gives the girl the information she wants in order to make a decision on you.
Fortunately, I do not have to do all of this, since I am extremely conservative. I am politically also not exactly libertarian but economically conservative. I am also socially conservative. I do not in general find liberal sexual norms appealing. But I understand there are many people like this. Both men and women do not really believe in one everlasting soulmate.
I am thinking this is where the men are going wrong at least.
Some absence of sudden moves is what is required is what I am thinking.
I am thinking people should strictly adhere to the 2 strikes policy also. This avoids social awkwardness.
However, a lot of my liberal friends are doing things I am thinking are making no sense. This is why I wrote this post.
Thank you for reading. I hope you find the right partner (or partners) for yourself.