It's not exactly related to LessWrong, but I would love you all's input in my personal statement. I'll be applying to medical school in a few weeks and would appreciate any feedback you all have on my personal statement. It's a very rough draft, so any thoughts are welcome. I'm probably about 125 words short of the maximum right now (The maximum is actually 5300 characters, and I'm around 4000)

Some part of me has always wanted to be a doctor. Sure, when I was six, that was said with the same youthful naivety with which so many children say it. Over the years, that drive has waxed and waned, but I never entirely let go of it. As I grew up, I became more and more interested in the sciences, but I enjoyed everything; I couldn’t narrow it down to just one field. In college, I looked for research opportunities everywhere I could. I tremendously enjoyed working in both of the labs in which I worked, but while cogently I understood that the research I was working on was an important part of medicine, I wanted a more direct connection to the patients I was helping. Ultimately, I know that I want to work in a job where I have an empathic connection to the work I’m doing. I’ve always empathized well, and I enjoy any chance I have to help someone.

I never truly realized on a personal level how powerful such a connection is until last fall, when doctors discovered a pilocytic astrocytoma in my now-girlfriend’s spine. Meredith’s tumor stretched over nine vertebrae, and she was facing life-threatening spinal surgery, as well as dealing with the physical symptoms of the tumor. As I helped her cope with the stress and fear of the operation, I had the horrific realization that people actually have to go through what she was facing. Of course, I understood this on a logical level – X people are diagnosed with disease Y over given period of time Z – but I never realized until then what that could mean for them on a personal level. I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone dealing with the emotional and physical pain that she was going through, and I knew I wanted to help other people avoid that. I realized I wouldn’t be happy with myself if I had the option to try to help alleviate that suffering but chose a different path. I understood that medicine was exactly what I wanted to do, and for the first time in my life, I had no reservations about that.

But beyond the empathic rewards a career in medicine would give me, I know I would enjoy and thrive in a medical environment, particularly the specialty in which I am interested, emergency medicine. I’ve always found I’m happiest and most successful in high-stress situations, so much so that I actively seek them out whenever I can. When my friends ask me what activities I am in and what classes I am taking, they usually wince when I tell them I am taking nineteen hours of high-level, technical sciences, working, participating in a few extracurricular activities, and managing a student-run organization with a budget of upwards of $90,000. Few people would find such a workload appealing, but I relish it. When I’m not pushed to my limit, even if I’m still doing a lot, I feel slothful and unproductive. I am disgusted with myself for failing to live up to my potential. Saying I enjoy a challenge would be a huge understatement, and while sometimes I have gotten in over my head, I know that I am happiest and most successful when I am right on the verge of being overwhelmed.

I know my drive will serve me well, both in medical school and in my future career as a physician. It borders on cliché to mention the long hours put in by medical students, residents, or even practicing physicians. And few careers are more stressful than medicine, where too many of the decisions made are life and death decisions. Medicine, particularly emergency medicine, takes someone who understands, is used to, and deals well with high pressure situations. I’ve been seeking those out for as long as I can remember, and I know that I am that person. A commitment to a career in medicine isn’t one to be made lightheartedly. But when I think about what Meredith had to go through over the past year, there’s no doubt in my mind about what I want to do with my life. After seeing what she dealt with, I can’t stand by, knowing other people are struggling with the same things. Some part of me may have always wanted to be a doctor, but now, more than ever, every part does.

In particular, I feel the last line is very cliche, but honestly, I just needed to get a working version that I could start to get feedback on. This is a very rough draft, and any suggestions you have are very welcome. Thanks.