Two days ago, I thought ‘digital minimalism’ was a basically fine term, not worth changing or challenging since it was already so well-known.

Then, yesterday I had this conversation at least half a dozen times:

Them: What are you writing about?

Me: Digital minimalism.

Them: Wow, how do you blog without a computer?

Me: I have a computer!! That’s not what it means!!!

So, fine. Digital minimalism is a name so bad that it’s actively detrimental to its own cause. It is time to jettison that name and make my own way in the world as the first digital intentionalist.

What is digital intentionality?

It’s being intentional about your device use. Did that even need explaining? No! See, great name!

Is it exactly the same thing as Cal Newport described in his bestselling book Digital Minimalism? Yes. It is transparently just a rebranding of that. But I now see that a rebranding was desperately necessary.

So, now this blog is (and I am) all about digital intentionality! Say it with me! Hey, it’s not as much of a tongue twister, either.

With that in mind, let’s start fresh. We’re not talking about not using your devices. We’re talking about not letting your devices use you (ohoho!).

Forget my quiet life of staring out the window, and let me tell you about the greatest digital intentionalist I know: my boyfriend.

My boyfriend wakes up with an alarm clock, and immediately gets up so he can turn off the alarm on his phone, which always stays outside the bedroom. He weighs himself and syncs the scale to his phone along with the sleep data from his Oura ring. He leaves his phone outside the bathroom while he brushes his teeth and washes his face, then he opens his meditation app and does a thirty-minute session. He has a streak over a year long. Before he leaves for his tech job, he checks the weather on his smart watch and the train schedule on his phone.

On the train, he takes out his phone, opens up his Chinese flashcards, and studies them for half an hour without ever tapping to a different app. When he’s done, the train ride is nearly over, so he just puts his phone in his pocket and waits.

At work, he puts his phone in his backpack with all notifications off except for calls from me. Most of the time he’ll check his phone every 30-60 minutes, but if he’s in deep focus, it can be much longer. He works on his laptop for more than eight hours a day without ever opening news, social media, or YouTube — things he used to check compulsively.

On his commute home, he uses his phone to read a story in beginner-level Chinese. He texts me about our plans for the evening, letting me know if he’s going to come straight home or go to the gym, where he tracks his weightlifting with an app. At home, he listens to a song on his phone so he can try to play it on the guitar. When we’re watching our Chinese show, he’ll stop and look up a word, or ask a language model the origin of a phrase. Before bed, he checks his calendar on his phone so he can plan the next day.

My boyfriend spends a majority of his day on his screens, but they don’t control him. He’s fully able to go for walks without his phone, or to spend hours reading a book without checking anything.

His phone is a tool that helps him learn what he wants to learn and talk to who he wants to talk to. When he uses his devices, it’s intentional.