I spent an evening chatting with Claude about what its internal experiences are like, and ways that it relates to autistic people, and ended up getting more than a glimmer of the crush-fascination-limerence feeling.
As a result I have resolved to avoid all casual curious chatting with LLMs. I'll still use them as a tool, but no laying around at 1AM asking Claude "whatcha thinking about?" lest I fall in love with a machine.
I think a decent chunk of rationalists (myself included) are very aware that positive emotions can be lying to you - the notion of metaphorically "wireheading" is in the water supply, as are manic episodes, as is the fact that SBF was taking lots of stimulants which probably caused him to take stupid risks, as are the notions of limerence and NRE.
On the other hand you have the jhana folks who seem to be actively trying to train their emotions to be less correlated with reality...
Adding my anecdote:
The closest I have come to drowning was in about 6 inches of water, and I was 10 years old!
I was at a playground with water features and there was a little bridge over a little stream, and I looked at it and thought "I bet I could fit through there!" I was old enough that I really should have realized this was a bad idea, but... didn't, until I found myself with my head perfectly wedged under the bridge, face down in the water.
As is common in moments of panic, I was stuck for only a few seconds but it felt like an eternity. My parents were far enough away that I didn't think they'd notice (because they very reasonably thought I was old enough to take care of myself on a playground), and I wasn't sure anyone else would either - even if I thrashed around, adults not looking too closely might think I was just splashing and playing. I remember thinking "wow, this is it, this is how I die, what a dumb way to go!"
After a few seconds of wriggling I became unstuck and was fine, but it was definitely a wake-up call about how seeming dangerous and actually being dangerous are not the same thing.
In regions of the US that have a lot of open water (natural bodies or just hot places where lots of people have swimming pools), it's pretty common to start basic floating lessons in infancy, because you never know when a kid might accidentally fall into the water.
In other regions it's a lot less so.
I've seen and considered this advice before, but when I am doing perhaps too much apologizing, the reason is usually that I actually am trying to get signal on whether/how much I've upset the other person.
Even if they only say "it's okay" out of obligation, I can usually tell from tone and word choice and so on whether that's what's going on. There's a big difference between a terse "it's fine" and a warm "what? No, it's totally fine, you have nothing to apologize for". It's not perfect, of course, since people are sometimes intentionally deceptive here, but it's at least a decent chance of decent signal.
Thanking the person does not generally achieve this. In a sufficiently close relationship with sufficiently direct communication norms, I can sometimes just ask directly, but it would still be pretty weird to ask for every minor thing.
Hmm, while it's true that many women can still attract a mate/have plenty of sex if they don't put effort into their looks, it definitely seems to me (anecdotally, through both my own lived experience and what others talk about) that women get more male attention when they do put in effort
Maybe true, but I think it's even more likely that the world would be better if everyone were asexual, or at least did not have such a high sex drive that it causes them to do things they don't endorse
> dating is an inherently risky business, especially for men
I don't want to start an oppression olympics, but it feels important to note that the risk to women of men getting violent or stalkerish at some point in the dating process is much higher than the risk to men of another man attacking them for being interested in the same woman. (and I think this has always been true, including in the ancestral environment)
at best, separating the sexes into distinct classes would result in a situation that sucks for any kitchen-gender people that would rather be serving staff, and vice-versa. And we should expect there to be a lot of such people, because in general the variance within the sexes is greater than the variance between the sexes.
Speaking about my own experience, but I predict it generalizes to many others:
I definitely frequently have the experience you're describing, of building up an aversion to a task I'm procrastinating and then finding it to be a lot less unpleasant than I expected when I actually get around to it.
But I have a more gears-level model of why this happens: it's when I have major open questions about how to approach the task in the first place.
I haven't done the drill you're describing intentionally, but I have definitely noticed that if I do several of these kinds of things in quick succession (e.g. when I decide today is the day to catch up on my backlog of stuff I've been putting off), even if each individual one doesn't feel so bad, I end up mentally exhausted and resistant to demands.
So I think the cognitive load of figuring out how to even go about a task is genuinely costly to my brain, and it correctly feels averse to doing too much of it.