If my introspection doesn't fail me, the reason why I tend to like people less if they don't drink (not sure how much of this applies to how many other people) is that I semi-voluntarily¹ pattern-match “person who won't drink” to “introverted and/or closed-minded (ETA: probably religious) person”: if for a particular person I have good reason that doesn't apply (e.g. they are very cheerful, have a very non-traditional hairstyle, etc.) I won't make much of a fuss if they don't drink. Also, having drunk lots of alcohol and being still functioning is a hard-to-fake signal. (Other commenters have suggested to drink very slowly so that you can be seen as drinking throughout the night while only actually getting one drink, but I will notice that, even though I won't do anything about that because I'll realize that that's just the polite way to refuse to drink a lot for whatever reason.)
Of the people I've met who don't drink by choice (as opposed to e.g. allergies or nasty interactions with medication), the most common reason is that they don't feel comfortable with artificially lowered inhibitions. This may not be entirely fair, but I tend to parse that as indicative of a worrying lack of confidence in oneself, either basic or by way of compensating for having had too little self-control in the past. Both are bad news, though not necessarily a deal-breaker in a friendship.
(Other common reasons: previous bouts of alcoholism [also indica...
It's been over a year since I graduated from college, but only recently have I felt like I'm officially entering the "adult world." Navigating the social arenas of the adult world requires the same basic skillsets as the college world, but a lot of the rules are different and I'm struggling to learn them. Among them is how to drink socially.
As a general rule, I don't drink. I don't like the taste of alcohol. I don't like paying the exorbinant prices that alcohol costs. I don't like the feeling of my brain slowing down and making it harder to string sentences together. I don't mind the physical disorientation - that part's pretty fun. But that part also seems to be slightly frowned upon in an "adult" setting. I'm not opposed to it for any particular moral reasons.
When I do drink, I prefer to get it over with as fast as possible, whether I'm officially drinking a "shot" or not. In college that at least had a sort of "daring" quality that was respected. But it's pretty obviously taboo at classy cocktail parties and even somewhat taboo at "casual adult" parties.
So there's a few separate questions I have:
1) Are there any good, cached buzzword phrases I can use that'll make it socially acceptable to not drink? "I just don't like it" seems to draw disdainful stares, and while I haven't tried it I get the sense that saying I'm morally opposed to it would make me look even more like a stick in the mud. Saying "it's ridiculously expensive" makes me look like a cheapskate.
2) If I must drink socially, is there a breakdown of the general social conventions I should be aware of so I don't need to have them pointed out to me over the course of the next few years?
3) Is there any particularly interesting analysis of *why* drinking is so important to social interaction? Knowing the underlying causes might at least give me some better appreciation for why I have to learn this other than "because!"