I don't think I understand your model of why neural networks are so effective. It sounds like you say that on the one hand neural networks have lots of parameters, so you should expect them to be terrible, but they are actually very good because SGD is a such a shitty optimizer on the other hand that it acts as an implicit regularizer.
Coming from the perspective of singular learning theory, neural networks work because SGD weights solutions by their parameter volume, which is dominated by low-complexity singularities, and is close enough to a bayesian posterior that it ends up being able to be modeled well from that frame.
This theory is very bayes-law inspired, though I don't tout neural networks as evidence in favor of bayesianism, since the question seems not very related, and maybe the pioneers of the field had some deep frequentist motivated intuitions about neural networks. My impression though is they were mostly just motivated by looking at the brain at first, then later on by following trend-lines. And in fact paid little attention to theoretical or philosophical concerns (though not zero, people talked much about connectionism. I would guess this correlated with being a frequentist, though I would guess the correlation was very modest, and maybe success correlated more with just not caring all that much).
There may be a synthesis position here where you claim that SGD weighing solutions by their size in the weight space is in fact what you mean by SGD being a implicit regularizer. In such a case, I claim this is just sneaking in bayes rule without calling it by name, and this is not a very smart thing to do, because the bayesian frame gives you a bunch more leverage on analyzing the system[1]. I actually think I remember a theorem showing that all MLE + regularizer learners are doing some kind of bayesian learning, though I could be mistaken and I don't believe this is a crux for me here.
If our models end up different, I think there's a bunch of things which you end up being utterly confused by in deep learning, which I'm not[2].