The constraint for this piece of writing was to not use any words of Proto-Indo-European origin, except the top fifty English words according to this list. Conjugating & combining allowed words was permitted.

"Calm, dog", Khan tries.
"OK, senpai" I beg. Copper Ra satellites^[1] for zenith, my sandals sauna on emerald rubbish in the barracks^[2].
"Traffic^[3] me alcohol and the syrup jar here, ninja". I stubbornly^[4] tote^[5] ginger^[6] tea and chocolate, Khan's a punk.
Bizarre: Myths don't rattle in this hip ghetto — I dig it.
I twitchily hassle; "The assassin at the canal, you clocked?"
"Pow pow out the slum. Barged in, massaged the racket, mopped up, you grok? Boomeranged chop-chop. Fun caliber, righted^[7] me an average^[8] migraine^[9]. No person but me the shōgun, the zombifieds, and the assassin; he fake kowtowed to the sultan — to Laniakea blings. Ogle^[10] there!"
I dodge to bother: there he is. "Your admiral, in person‽". I'm flummoxed. He traffics the coach zig-zag and gets in the compound.
The tattooed admiral, crashing the sofa: "I hustled^[11] the cocaine from the saboteur^[12]."
Khan yanks the coffer^[13] of narcotic alabaster saffron. The admirals cotton is nasty^[14] scarlet and cerise^[15], ouch — on a turquoise satin canopy.
Khan: "Yours?"
"No."
"You're a goon."
"No, a candy^[16] shaman" admiral rumbles stubbornly. The elixir jitters out of sapphire spheres, we absinthe.
"No taboos at this corroboree. The narc, is he, um, "amen"?"
"Yes."
"Ok" Khan scratches^[17]. "Tabbed to me? Shenanigans?"
"No cops. … My sabbatical, my cash^[18]? My chili squaw will squeeze the flimsy bikini, but that's OK. I'll syrup-daddy^[19]" he yaps.
"Cheugy, soynerd. OK"—Khan yeets^[20] the cash to the sofa. "Don't amok in the ghetto, don't list macabre hash, don't flop^[21], and we are wicked hip. No skulduggery. Jive^[22] her, fuck^[23] her, marry^[24] her, hallelujah."
"Ok, no shenanigans in the slum. Chào^[25]."
Khan's admiral traffics the silver cannon gizmo to me, ruffles out.
I hazard the sofa—I'm ketchuped, bothered. Pump^[26] soda when Betelgeuse capoeiras. "Goofy^[27] bloke" I bounce. "He gets to cottage and barbecue?"
A dzogchen^[28] Khan chats: "Not with that ease… he's the narc. No cottage, no barbecue, no pyramid, just a mummy in a canal by monsoon. I'll bag his kawaii sheila."
I'm petrified. What a coyote, this bastard. He squints^[29].
"My horde has to have fit asabiyyah. You yabber to the cops, you beg to satan and Yahweh. That's the algebra. I'm a sigma Chad, I'm the sulfur phoenix, I boom."
No fanfare, no shouting. Ditzily: "Scram. Curry me some, baizuo."
I taped this gibberish in the bungalow^[30]. I'm the narc, the saboteur: mundane^[31], embryonic^[32]—he doesn't ping^[33].
My pink nape bothers, my bloke avocados itch. I'll sumō the shōgun at ramadan. Ivory will triumph.

1. Uncertain:
       1. Recent: "OK" (1839), "punk" (1678), "dog" (14th to 16th century), "clock" (1370), "fake" (1775), "ogle" (17th century), "flummoxed" (1837), "zig-zag" (1712), "yank" (1822), "ouch" (1838), "goon" (1580), "tab" (1607), "shenanigans" (1850s), "squeeze" (1600), "nerd" (1951), "Chad" (7th century), "ditzily" (1800s), "gibberish" (mid 16th century)
       2. Older: "calm", "try", "beg", "rubbish", "stubborn", "rattle", "twitch", "hassle", "racket", "fun", "bother", "crash", "hustle", "nasty", "scratch", "cop", "flimsy", "daddy", "yap", "macabre", "flop", "wicked", "skulduggery", "fuck", "marry", "silver", "gizmo", "ruffle", "capoeira", "goofy", "bloke", "bounce", "ease", "bastard", "squint", "fit", "sulfur", "shouting", "scram", "tape", "ping", "pink", "nape", "itch"
       3. From Greek: "sandal", "sphere", "embryonic"
       4. From Italian: "ghetto"
2. Turkic: "Khan", "saboteur", "turquoise", "horde"
3. Japonic: "senpai", "ninja", "soy", "kawaii", "sumō"
4. Afro-Asiatic:
       1. Egyptian: "Ra", "barge", "migraine", "alabaster", "pyramid", "phoenix", "ivory"
       2. Semitic: "copper", "emerald", "mop", "coffer", "sapphire", "mummy"
               1. Arabic: "zenith", "traffic", "alcohol", "syrup", "jar", "assassin", "massage", "caliber", "average", "sultan", "admiral", "sofa", "saffron", "cotton", "scarlet", "elixir", "hash", "hazard", "soda", "Betelgeuse", "monsoon", "sheila", "asabiyyah", "algebra", "ramadan"
               2. Hebrew: "amen", "hallelujah", "sabbatical", "satan", "Yahweh"
5. Tyrsenian:
       1. Etruscan: "satellite", "person", "mundane"
6. Uralic: "cottage"
       1. Finnic: "sauna"
       2. Hungarian: "coach"
7. Dravidian: "bungalow", "candy"
       1. Tamil: "ginger", "cash", "curry"
8. Niger-Congo: "tote"
       1. Atlantic-Congo
               1. Bantu: "zombified"
               1. Wolof: "hip", "dig it", "jive"
9. Sino-Tibetan:
       1. Chinese: "tea", "shōgun", "satin", "chào", "baizuo"
               1. Cantonese: "chop-chop", "kowtowed"
               2. Hokkien: "ketchuped"
       2. Tibetan: "dzogchen"
10. Uto-Aztecan:
       1. Nahuatl: "chocolate", "chili", "avocado"
       2. Nahuan: "coyote"
11. Basque: "bizarre"
12. Sumerian: "canal", "cannon" (both have the same root in "𒄀", very neat)
13. Pama-Nguyan:
       1. Dharug: "boomerang", "corroboree"
       2. Woiwurrung: "yabber"
14. Austronesian:
       1. Hawaiian: "Laniakea"
       2. Malay: "compound", "amok"
       3. Samoan: "tattooed"
       4. Tongan: "taboo"
       5. Marshallese: "bikini"
15. Yuman:
       1. Quechan: "cocaine"
16. Tungusic:
       1. Evenki: "shaman"
17. Algic:
       1. Massachusett: "squaw"
18. Arawakan:
       1. Taíno: "barbecue"
19. Substrate:
       1. Pre-Greek: "narcotic", "cerise", "canopy", "absinthe", "narc", "petrified", "triumph"
       2. Other: "myth", "barrack"
20. Onomatopoetic: "pow pow", "rumble", "jitter", "pump", "chat", "sigma", "boom", "fanfare"
21. De novo: "slum", "grok" (1961), "bling", "cheugy" (2013), "yeet" (2008)

1. A bit of a cop-out, since I'm assuming the Etruscan etymology and not tracing it back through "fulgāną" (though note that that's also not traced back to PIE) or "𐎧𐏁𐏂𐎶" to "*tek-" I could also use shiver here, which is uncertain. But I like Etruscan more. ↩︎

2. Seems unclear. I originally thought this was Uralic from Hungarian, but I was mistaken. Either from a substrate language (!) from "bara" (thouh possibly from "*bʰeh₂-") through "barrum" or from "*bʰerH-" through "*barra". I'll let it slide, I think, but it's also an edge-case. Otherwise I could use "bungalow" a second time. ↩︎

3. I don't buy the "trans-""friare" explanation, and find "تَفْرِيق" more plausible. But ymmv, could be a violation of my constraints. ↩︎

4. Could be from "*(s)tewp-" via "stubbaz", but that's more of a hypothesis. I count it as uncertain. ↩︎

5. Another one where I'm playing it fast & loose. Seems disputed, either from Proto-German "*tut(t)-" (but without further history) or (more fun) from a Bantu language. ↩︎

6. Yes, it went through Prakrit but is ultimately Dravidian with "𑀇𑀜𑁆𑀘𑀺𑀯𑁂𑀭𑁆"! LLMs often get tripped up by this. ↩︎

7. This is in the top 50 words by frequency as "right". ↩︎

8. Needful to say, I use the origin from "عَوِرَ" instead of "avere". ↩︎

9. The Egyptian origin. I know we could also trace it back to "*sēmi" from "*ḱr̥h₂-(e)s-n-", but let's not. ↩︎

10. Yeah I know this one's reaching pretty far. Wiktionary gives 17th century as an origin, but then proceeds to provide an etymology from "*h₃ekʷ-" through "*augijan". There's really no good word for looking that's not IE though. Alternatively I considered "peep" but that's just directly from "piken". I could use "capoeira there" or "kung fu there" as "turn there". Maybe after an edit. ↩︎

11. Wiktionary only goes back to middle Dutch "hutsen" but there's not entry for the Dutch word on the Wiktionary page (only for the unrelated Basque "hutsen" for the superlative of "huts", "zero"/"empty". A quick websearch doesn't give me anything more, I'll count it as "unknown". ↩︎

12. I'll take the Ottoman Turkish origin from "چاپمق", not the Persian "چپت" (since Persian is often PIE). ↩︎

13. I wish I could more confidently link this to the extinct Hurro-Urartian languages, but I'll be a good boy and stay with Semitic languages. Would be awesome though. ↩︎

14. This one is so disputed ("obscure origin" via Wiktionary) that I'll say it's uncertain. Possibly I'm wrong and it' from "*ken-" through "*hnaskuz", in which case I could also use "icky", which isn't great either, or "wacky", which is uncertain or onomatopoetic. ↩︎

15. I'll take the substrate origin through "κερασός". ↩︎

16. This one's fun! I like the Proto-Dravidian reconstruction from "*kaṇṭu", and Wiktionary on "खण्ड" says "An internally-derived word, likely of non-Indo-European origin but no convincing Dravidian or Munda sources. […] Part of the Indo-Aryan "defective" group of words", which "do not have clear Indo-European etymology. They are characterized by showing a wide variety of alternative forms, perhaps indicating substrate origin or taboo deformation". Very cool! I'll count it as Dravidian. ↩︎

17. Wiktionary doesn't connect it with "*gred-" and instead says "of uncertain origin". Surprising, but I'll take it. ↩︎

18. I'll use the Tamil etymology from "காசு" instead of the Latin one from "*kap-" via "capiō". Alternatively I could use "shekels". ↩︎

19. I'd guess that "dad" is so common that I could just say "nuh uh it's actually the Elamite honorific for “dear father”, deal with it" or whatever. But Wiktionary also says "dad" is "of uncertain ultimate origin", so I win. ↩︎

20. My arch-nemesis: I have the speculation this is actually from "jeter" via French from New Orleans into AAVE or via "iettare" through some unknown-to-me route. But our etymology goes only back to 2014 (or 2008 if we count the Urban Dictionary entry as related), and none of the originators are from New Orleans as far as I can tell, so I get to use the word. ↩︎

21. Here again the etymology only goes back to Middle English, and ends there. Alternatively I could use "botch". ↩︎

22. I take the Wolof etymology because I can. ↩︎

23. The Big Mystery. Alternatively one could use "boink" if we believe the PIE origin from "*pewǵ-". ↩︎

24. This one would be harder to replace if we believe the origin from "*méryos". The best I can do is "harem" which is very stilted so I'm happy "marry" is disputed/unclear. ↩︎

25. Got you! There's a Chinese version of "ciao" with the same meaning! ↩︎

26. Wiktionary doesn't give an etymology beyond "probably ultimately imitative". ↩︎

27. The Wiktionary page for "goof" is so full of "perhaps"s and "possibly"s I'll take this one as uncertain. "Kosher" could be a fallback. ↩︎

28. Okay this is very annoying. I was gonna use "zen" here and feel quite clever, but that's ultimately a loadword from "dhyana" from Sanskrit "ध्यै", which, sure, "origin uncertain" but it's almost guaranteed to have some PIE root. Blech. ↩︎

29. The etymology just… ends at "asquint"? But doesn't seem related to *(s)kewh₁- since "squint" goes back to words for slant/slope/angle. ↩︎

30. Another fun one! Comes from the name for Bengal, which either traces back to "वङ्ग", for which wiktionary doesn't offer an etymology (except linking back to "بنگال", creating a cycle in the etymology), could also be Proto-Dravidian "वातिङ्गण" or even Tibetan "བནས". It veers dangerously close to PIE through Sanskrit but seems ultimately non-IE. ↩︎

31. There's a PIE etymology from "*mh₂nd-" and an Etruscan one from "𐌌𐌖𐌈". I assume the Etruscan one. ↩︎

32. Unclear or from Hebrew "עֻבָּר", I'll assume unclear from Greek, quoth Wiktionary: "None of them are particularly convincing." ↩︎

33. I'll assume it's onomatopoetic. If you disagree, imagine I'd re-used "grok" here. ↩︎