CstineSublime's Shortform

CstineSublime

This is a special post for quick takes by CstineSublime. Only they can create top-level comments. Comments here also appear on the Quick Takes page and All Posts page.

Don't ask "Can anyone recommend me a book/camera/school for X?" instead ask "What criteria would use use when deciding on a book/camera/school for X?"

I've noticed the tendency for people to give "title recommendations". No matter how much detail about your problem or decision you furnish, they will furnish only the title of a book, the name of a product without elaboration. Example: For a while any and every request for a self-help-adjacent book on Reddit would be met by two to four words "Atomic Habits - James Clear". Why were they recommending that book?^[1] You had no idea. Why was the book relevant to your particular inquiry? You had to guess.

How can you solicit recommendations which are a little more... informative?

Ray Dalio would advise that you don't ask for recommendations at all. Instead you "triangulate" from three or more proven experts in a field. Each describing their reasoning not just their conclusion. Basically "How did you come to that recommendation?".
Now of course it's easier for a literal multibillionaire like Dalio to get "proven experts" to give him the time of day. I don't have that luxury. But not asking for recommendations but instead reasoning is a net improvement.

In the past I would have thought the way to get better recommendations was to be more specific about my conditions:

"Hi I'm looking for a video camera which has a lot of options for lenses, I'm hoping for something that operates in low light as I do a lot of live music..."

However most people will just tell you something like "Panasonic Lumix GH6".

Tires?
"My Michelin tires have been great"
Kindergarden?
"Been very happy with the Montossori school we sent my youngest too"
Date ideas?
"Do not go to Billy Briar's restaurant, horrible service, we waited over an hour while other people who came later were served..."

But while if you ask them something that focuses on the decision making model "What features or qualities should a video camera have if you're doing a lot of live music videography" that should get to to at least explain their recommendations in the context of your request.

^{^}
I think I know why they recommended it. It must be related to unsolicited series recommendations: "You should really watch [title of series they just binge-watched] you'll really like it". I'm convinced it's not that they think you'd really like it - they are very excited about it and want to have someone to share it with. And if you watch it then they can share this in your friendship.

The point is the recommendation is never about you and your needs. It's probably about their need for connection or validation. Otherwise they would explicitly state how it solves your problem.

By mentioning a title, I'd guess they're affirming themselves as someone who embodies the values that attracted them to the book.

2Said Achmiz1y

The others are more expensive, or less powerful, or not compatible with standard mixer attachments… or are worse for other reasons that there’s no point in mentioning when making a positive recommendation (e.g. “definitely don’t get the ExampleCompany SuperMixer 9000, because it has a manufacturing defect that causes it to explode and set your house on fire”—no point in going through all the bad options and saying why they’re bad, otherwise we’ll be here all day, and to what end?). [...] Well, I generally don’t recommend things that I don’t have hands-on experience with (and if I do, I explicitly flag this lack of experience). As for “reasoning”… this just doesn’t seem to be the right way to think about this sort of thing. We’re talking about facts (nothing to reason about here) and evaluations on the basis of given criteria (also not much room for “reasoning”). “Reasoning” applies when coming up with criteria, but once that’s done—what’s to reason about? And the question “why it has more of that” just seems weird. Maybe I’m misunderstanding what you mean here, but surely the answer is “because that’s how it was designed and manufactured”? What else can be the answer to a “why” question like that? (Are you expecting some sort of analysis of Black+Decker’s product strategy…?) [...] So, correct me if I’m way off base here, but it sounds like what you’re actually looking for isn’t so much answers to specific questions, or specific information, but something more like… credible signals of trustworthiness (of a recommendation, and of the recommender). In other words, with the mixer example (sorry, I know kitchen appliances much better than I know cameras, so I’m sticking with that one for my comments)… it’s not that a bare product name is insufficient information, as such. It’s not that the response fails to answer the question—it absolutely does that. Rather, what’s missing is any credible signal that you can trust that the answer is correct. And stuff like talki

1CstineSublime1y

You've made me wonder: Where do you ask for recommendations or advice Said? Of whom? How do you you account for unknown unknowns? Do you never ask for clarifying or additional questions about their suggestions? Just your replies here appear to be quite curious so I find it confusing that you would so strenuously argue for a "and that's all she wrote" approach. [...] How do I know I have the best criteria for me? I can do a really rigorous job of explaining my situation, my biases, my personal experience and my current level of understanding and knowledge. But the whole point of asking for recommendations is to find unknown unknonws: not only products or solutions on the market, but criteria I may not have even thought of, or at least under-prioritized. If I'm a novice at something - what really obvious things might someone who isn't a novice want to warn me of? Hence the Ray Dalio thing - in an ideal situation I ask three or more domain experts - people who certainly do know more than me and can explicate criteria I didn't even consider. With the camera example, (sorry, like you with the mixer - I'll stick to what I know) I might verbosely describe the situation I intend to shoot in. But someone with more experience might go "Ah, but what about a battery?" or maybe they'll say "This camera has a longer battery life, but go for this cheaper one because the cost of an external USB powerpack is a tenth of the price difference between the two models". How would I know that battery life factored into their reasoning and in what way? In terms of execution, switching roles doesn't exactly work, i.e. asking "How would you choose a camera?" because the person asked may choose what is best for them, not for the requestee. But, there's a middle ground somewhere between "Which product fits these criteria?" and "which criteria am I neglecting?". [...] Partly. Yes, it is about trust and credibility. And I still contend the easiest way is for someone to mention a

You’ve made me wonder: Where do you ask for recommendations or advice Said? Of whom? How do you you account for unknown unknowns? Do you never ask for clarifying or additional questions about their suggestions? Just your replies here appear to be quite curious so I find it confusing that you would so strenuously argue for a “and that’s all she wrote” approach.

Well, the most common places/contexts where I ask for recommendations would be the various chat channels where I talk to people (which could be my IRL friends, or not). Most people in such places a... (read more)