I’ve been extremely transparent and this includes personal and quite NSFW information that might make you uncomfortable, be warned.

What you have included is not only NSFW and offensive but describes highly illegal activities. I'd strongly advise you to remove it immediately.

EDIT: Not that I'm suggesting that crimes should be covered up, but at least if the link is removed it can be dealt with a little more quietly.

As I said:

In my humble opinion; some of the inclusions in your files are likely to make people uncomfortable. (I agree with the above post)

I would like to downvote the post; but instead am doing so verbally for the reason of it needing improvements:

Would you be able to re-model the theory in a more verbose form and for a different problem set. I understand that this is personal results for your personal application of your theory of goal-purpose setting; and that is part of what makes it so hard to interpret and understand to outsiders.

I can understand so much as to get a rough estimate that there may be value in your model of goal-re-affirming, but unfortunately the subject-specific nature of the example makes it hard to understand, as well as likely to be off-putting to a wider audience.

A humble suggestion; to rebuild your model on a worked example; perhaps one that is more mainstream - might help us all to improve on the working model and better understand the nature of the analysis.

(On a personal note; some of the thoughts that you have described are not common among people and would be considered anti-social. It would likely be useful to add to your maps to know that most people do not think in this way.)

On a more general note; This level of purpose-finding may be related to your age-maturity in society; and only applicable to individuals in a similar age-maturity area (of which there are many). Which is not to say that you are immature; but it would seem that these levels of social anxieties do not plague the older-more-mature population; (otherwise there would already exist more similar thought information about it in the public domain). Consider the consequences of the idea that your current road-blocks seem to fade away for most people with the gaining of more age/maturity.

Lastly; some of your thinking goes as far to apply man-with-a-hammer to the very moment-specific problems of your life. I see these thoughts and fears as likely to pass over you in a number of years; it might be helpful to note that what matters now may not matter later. And if you were to move yourself into a fixed-research area into something that makes you uncomfortable you may have difficulty leaving that area and find the entire experience not-enjoyable.

If you want to talk more specifically; feel free to PM me with questions. If nothing else - I would encourage you to diversify and grow your life experience through things like; meeting more people, travelling to distant places, working a minimum wage job - then getting better at it, developing your health/wellbeing activities to include regular exercise, reduction of drug use, reduction of addiction subscribed to, developing your own artform (music; paint; words; sculpture; woodwork), learning more things, teaching things to other people, earning enough money to give away - then giving it away. (you may already be doing some of these; or none of these or all of these)

I hope I have helped.