sam's Shortform

sam

I have an ADHD dilemma.

TL;DR: I definitely have things wrong with me, and it seems that those things intersect substantially but not completely with "ADHD". I have no idea how to figure these things out without going bankrupt.

In longer form:

I definitely have serious problems with avoidance of work, organisation, disorganised thought processes etc.
- I've posted about them before here!
- I've tried many things to fix this, some of which have worked a bit, but the underlying problem is essentially 90% still present
I'm not sure whether these problems are due to ADHD or due to anxiety, childhood trauma etc.
In particular, I am pretty high-achieving, and this makes me doubt my assessment of myself
Friends and family also think it is unlikely that I have ADHD, and seem to find the idea ridiculous
If I have ADHD, the opportunity cost of not taking medication seems extremely high - my inability to concentrate is seriously harming my life
If I don't have ADHD, taking medication might end up masking my other problems, and I may end up in a worse situation in a couple of years
Here's the crux: there appears to be no way for me to neutrally discuss these doubts with a psychiatrist
I will have to get a private assessment to have a realistic chance of getting diagnosed in the near-term
- The cost of a private assessment is extremely high (in my current financial situation).
- If I get such an assessment, I have an incentive to exaggerate my symptoms in order to get prescribed medication. I don't want to risk losing my investment by discussing alternative possibilities to ADHD.
- A cursory glance at reviews of private assessors seem to imply that they are diagnosis-mills
  - i.e., pay us £1000 and we'll give you a prescription
  - They're not holistic assessments of your place in life with a nice cheap option to continue treatment for something else if you don't have ADHD
I've had quite bad experiences with the NHS (UK public health system), and I don't think they're likely to be very helpful whether I have ADHD or not
I am weird in various ways that make therapy useless
- I have tried e.g. CBT, talk therapies and found them basically a waste of time, even after sincerely engaging with them

This set of circumstances seems likely to exist for other people in the LW community. I would really like some advice on what to do here.

sam1y10

3dbohdan1y

I notice you seem to draw a distinction between "really has ADHD" and "just can't concentrate". You may want to read Scott's "Adderall Risks: Much More Than You Wanted To Know" to dissolve this distinction and have a better framework for making your decision. Here is a central quote about it: [...]

Viliam1y20

Maybe it's just another case of the general: by media we are exposed to exceptional examples of people, our brains interpret that as a norm in our tribe, and as a result we feel inferior.

2Garrett Baker1y

Why not discuss openly with one psychiatrist (or therapist!), then choose another to exaggerate if you decide to experiment. Also, note that I don’t think psychiatrists are particularly averse to experimenting with drugs with few long term consequences or risks.