I just realized something important. <Procrastination/Escapeism> is a type of protection mechanism. When you are engaging in entertainment, then your brain is distracted. Too distracted to think about all of the things that make you feel bad. Somehow my brain must have picked up this pattern without me consciously realizing it.
The only reason why I notice it now after I have already been doing it for at least 14 years, is that I am trying to create a habit of always reflecting on why I feel bad when I do. Writing makes me smarter. Trying to understand my feelings by reflecting in writing, and then observing how I get pulled towards engaging with entertainment, did make me realize what is going on.
I do it in a very convoluted way. Basically, I have created a subagent in my mind that somehow has access to this aspect, and then I can tell the subagent to make me feel good when I tap the laptop. If I just try to make it feel good myself to tap the laptop then it does not work. It works best with discrete events that give you feedback like tapping. Throwing something in the trash does not work as easily. I actually have used this technique almost never, which seems strange, because it seems very powerful.